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    dots Submission Name: Judgmentdots

    Author: Forthwind
    ASL Info:    29/male/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    0.8 - 0/2/7
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 652
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 657

       Trapped in eternal sorrow..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Sometimes I scream. When my heart beats a cold melody. From this torrential agony that suffers me daily I find no retreat. Continual anguish envelopes my every feeling. my desires left wanting to feel the warmth I never had. Each and every nerve through my body aches from time itself beating me into the depths of despair. I feel as though I travel a lone walk in the wilderness. Travailing through waves of torment. My memories tarnishing and withering away. The light I used to see has become overran with shadows. Life itself has become a cage or torment. But maybe one day this will all end. Maybe one day I'll be saved from this judgment.

    Submitted on 2011-04-04 00:20:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is good. the description is filled with emotion. i would have loved to see more rythm in there. this is poetry, you could write it like poetry...makes the readin more interesting. it could be...

    sometimes i scream
    when my heart beats a cold melody
    from this torrential agony
    that suffers me daily
    i have no retreat

    makes me see the rhyme scheme better. but as i said, you wrote it beautifully.
    | Posted on 2011-04-04 00:00:00 | by Amma | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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