yes, there is no punctuation or major capitalization because that's how thoughts work. although, my Grammar Nazi has been turned up heaps today.
these are real thoughts I had today.
Uhm, yeah. just expressing.
what goes on in my head -------------------------------------------
Bus this morning:
Mm saw that guy here yesterday i think the one who was my type the lanky longer brown haired guy oh lawdy there he is again ohh i love that suit on him what is he like twenty three twenty something aha imagine me just going up to him asking to be friends for absolutely no reason and him telling me he has a girlfriend and me saying i know i just want to be your friend because just having you being a part of my life will mean a lot to me maybe ill see him tomorrow mmmmm i feel weird what the i dont understand it feels weird like i know something before i even know i know it what the f oh look school ugh why can i not listen to music at school its stupid
Psychology, first two periods:
Emotional intelligence hmm let's see how long i can shut up for this lesson a little bit out of character maybe sir will notice i mean i think he knows that psych is my favourite subject and then againhe probably wont well dilligaf because idgaf
oh crap what why now ugggghhh
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm be my best friend please
x squared plus four x plus one equals zero what the ugh i did this question five seconds ago how does this not make sense it does make sense im just a dumb sh*t need music play Lucy Woodward track 8. Something
sometimes when you're lying beside me
in your eyes I see
I don't know, but it's something...
ugh i hate maths, can't even sing to myself for a second
VAIR SCARE YEAR 12 PEOPLE ooh my friendly friend year 12 people
year 12 people are nice
remember nobody knows you its only your second drama lesson since you changed to physics be the character youre told to be its about the drama and not about your peers bitch screw what they think of you
why the frig is this so uncomfortable i dont like this feel bro my head hurts so much i just want to sit down and cry ugh no put that damn brave face on mm look at all those kids theyre popular they have reputations i have no nothing im just that annoying girl wow i miss sps sometimes oh hey look friends
I really, really love this. The whole concept is just amazing -- like confessional poetry, but prose, and more honest than even that is, and frankly, I think you should do it, or similar things, again. Like automatic writing, that kinda thing, and then see what happens.
It's a brave post. Kudos for that.
When I first started secondary school I was in the 'popular' group of girls, and at first I loved it, still immature enough to think that feeling 'above' people was a good feeling, you know? I hung out with those girls for about two years, maybe three, but I got so jaded. None of them knew me, or only on a superficial level, and the parties and drinking made me feel so disconnected, from everything.
Not like they were bad people -- I had my first slump into depression when I was with them, maybe 11 or 12, and while they never talked about it with me, they looked out for me, sort of acted as human bodyguards.
In either case, jaded, yup, and disconnected, and in the end I just stopped being friends with them. The rest of high school I was sort of a loner, or I hung out with the 'weird' ones -- those are the girls I'm still friends with now, though I am still relatively a loner. And I look at what those popular girls are doing on facebook and it gives me that jaded feeling all over again. Like, the only important things to them are clothes and hair and parties.
That might be me being mean -- it's not like people especially put personal stuff on facebook for everyone to see -- but you know, my best friend (who I actually didn't meet at school) is so cool, in that she thinks about stuff, current affairs, psychology (like you :) ), you can talk to her and not feel like you've just lost a great chunk of your life which you're never going to get back.
I think she was 'weird' at school, as well. A bit of a headcase, extremely academic, and more thoughtful than your average teen.
(I hope you don't mind my waffle, I'm just responding, I guess, because I couldn't leave this one without commenting)
I''ve just got in contact with my favourite teacher at school after a couple of years not hearing from her. She's one of those excellent, rare teachers, who will teach you the syllabus, yes, and how to pass exams, but goes off on these lesson-long tangents about anything that interests her, from grammar stuff to cocktails. We were allowed to listen to our ipods in her classes if we were doing silent work (which wasn't too often -- it was mostly discussion work) and we had one lesson a week where someone woud have to bring in a cake and the lesson would be even more informal.
I love her :)
Year 12 people were super scary, until you're in that year. Here, at least -- that's when we get upgraded to a common room with a kettle and obviously are so much more important and grown-up than everybody (except than the scarier years 13s!). Blech.
Uni will be a dream for you -- the popular ones don't do as well as the ones who work hard, they seem to retain that 'too cool for school' facade (meh) and it is ridiculous -- I mean, they're paying masses to do a course and, to be 'cool' still ignore the professors and pass notes. Fecks sake.
I still get that 'be my best friend please please' thing now.
We're letting a room in our house out to a lodger, and I am praying for someone who writes and is intelligent and thoughtful who can be my friend oh please oh please.