Description: idk, i meant for this poem to be good and deep but it seems kinda weak, advise and opinions would be appreciated :)
They tell you
Drugs are bad
They tell you drugs make you mad
Other bring you down and sad
Some still yet send you high in the sky
Feeling oh so glad
They'll tell you it's a fad
To look cool in school
But in the end you're the fool
That got hooked
Robbed of you love for life
You'll cut yourself with a knife
And cheat on your family and wife
Just to get a fix
What they don't tell you
Is that the drugs will tell a much different story
Drugs will tell you that they are something to be had
Adventure to your life they do add
Everyone does them
Down the street
Yeah that lad
In the basement
Yep so does dad
Even mom will hit just a tad
Ha! Drugs have been around
Since dawn hit the town
They only bring you down
If that's what you like
And they only make you do bad things
If you can't control the puppeteers strings
The truth is
Drugs send you into euphoria
Feeling in Gloria and Victoria
The create bonds
Between people that share your fonds
The idea that only fuck ups do drugs is a lie
I bet people you wouldn't expect
Have one thing on their mind
How to make that next buy
And get really fucking high
Drugs are fun
Make you dance and run
Fuck and cum
See light when there is none
But with all things fun
Bad things happen when overdone
As you travel deeper
In to the sea of the reaper
You are no longer the keeper
Of the puppet strings
Drugs are not the puppet
You are the one thrown into threat
When the drugs say dance
Along the floor you'll prance
When they say buy
To the fastest dealer you'll say hi!
Who carries the final toll?
Drugs are bad
But something to be had
They make you glad, mad, sad
Should you taste the poison
Or leaver you life empty with none
Do you think you can outrun
The shots of the gun
I'm not here to tell you what to do
Just to say
Drugs are fun
But can leave you empty and done
I think you have two choices with this as far as improving and that would be to just clean it up, that way it can be a much stronger message or you can leave it as it is and do more spell checking, leaving it raw, remaining realistic.
Very observant, gives the thought of an eagle eye targeted on society and narcotics, how they dysfunction or help one function.Or better yet how they'll leave you miserable and sick in a pile of crap you created.
Warning, be prepared before you enter the euphoric ring of haze type of piece.
It can be made more slender, more narrowed out.
I like how you took on the topic though, tackled the ills with wanting to address what is and what is not.
The idea that only [censored] ups do drugs is a lie
This here is the line that says [censored] society's stereotypical labeling on what types of people do drugs and who don't.Because a lot of people everyday will assume it's the homeless guy or hooker getting in the car when truth is.It's not only that aspect of society but it's secretaries, political figures, nannies, childcare overseers, all walks of life that are in on the trip too.
So yeah, I think it can be toned up, worked out.
The symboling key areas are not really bothering a reader because that's just scratch appeal, something the author put there intentionally.
Agreeable subject to put forth, like the idea of it being done.