Things are never as they seem
My heart will forever ach for your presences
However my mind knows better
I will never allow myself to go back
Go back I say
To those drug invested nights
To those pits of my living hell
Depression was only the tip of the iceberg
Suicidal thoughts produced by the sexual abuse I experienced as a child
From the ongoing drug addiction
Yet I crawled my way out...
Alone more than ever now
Depressed beyond belief
For I no longer have those drugs I once leaned on
And of course I no longer have you....
Which by the way, you meant more to me than any high I felt
You were my world for I allowed you into mine!
I took the key to that old rusted lock, unlocked my heart for you
Each and every day I think you ... of "us"
Nevertheless my mind stops me from going any further