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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Self-Dribbling Basketballsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: NoMartyr
    ASL Info:    18/M/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 33/97/91
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1006
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 903



    Description:
       Perhaps we'll never know...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSelf-Dribbling Basketballsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If it's all the same to you
    Then it's all the same to me
    We could sit and oscillate
    And blow away mundane debris
    The hollow feeling in your chest becomes the ringing in your head
    Down in that hole, we're all found out
    It grabs you up and drags you down

    I never want to have to leave
    Your smile feels so good to breathe
    Expend this little light of mine
    Sharing your light, warm and divine
    This petty gift I owe at least, after all you have done for me

    Resonating with your energy
    Jumping in and outside of me
    I try to expel this ecstasy
    But more comes rushing into me
    I'll sing my songs deep from my core
    When you say "Keep Going" I'll do more
    It's never meant so much to breathe
    It's never meant so much to me




    Submitted on 2011-04-23 00:05:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Cute way to describe a love story!
    | Posted on 2011-04-23 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      the oscillating, the up and down, the jumping...

    a relationship much like dribbling a basketball...

    and the self-dribbling...we have to keep ourselves bouncing...we can't depend on a significant other...

    it is like a good basketball team...each doing his or her part to make the team good...the passing, the setting each other up...

    i like this metaphor a lot...

    lost it in the second stanza a bit...but it came back in the third...there are some good lines....

    a bit of tweaking would tighten it...and smooth out the lines...

    "and blow away the mundane debris"

    really like that....


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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    190548

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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