[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Petite Ariadots

    Author: silentpoison
    ASL Info:    22/F/Teh Shire
    Elite Ratio:    2.67 - 204/259/118
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 444
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 554

       For my daughter Madison

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Petite Ariadots

    When your eyes shine

    like the skyline

    you’re world

    clashes with mine

    you’re on cloud nine

    i’m of sound mind

    innocence grows

    like dayglo

    little heart beats

    gaining mothers heat

    tiny hands

    hold steady

    My arms rock in time like a metronome

    sleeping heavily you breathe on the up beats

    my petite aria

    languid and smooth

    Submitted on 2011-04-26 12:37:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very cute poem as is your daughter. Her image and your love for her is very well depicted in your verse. Kids arouse such lovely and immaculate feelings which is above everything in this world. Very tender write. I enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2011-04-28 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]
      tiny baby hands!!! I'm sorry i'm crazy about them. lol my mom used to sort of put ours against her lips because she loved them too.

    Anyway, i liked this... except i don't think "metronome" fits in there. I mean its meaning fits but .. i dunno.
    Keep it up :)

    Black Rose
    | Posted on 2011-04-26 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Every..... written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]