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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: NaPoWriMo 18--23dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 230/390/136
    Words: 291
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1208
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2182



    Description:
       Third set of my NaPoWriMo poems. Feeling the strain.

    April 18th: Purpose
    April 19th: Paradox meets paradox, physics suffers.
    April 20th: Harassment
    April 21st: My sister, who is as the moon.
    April 22nd: Religion
    April 23rd: Change, the illusion.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNaPoWriMo 18--23dots
    -------------------------------------------


    April 18, 2011

    All about, the murmurous
    world. A man can rise
    like the dawn, beleaguered
    but inured. He breaks open
    and the sun splits and the
    metaphors unravel.

    A man is just a man--
    vestigial, lost only
    because he believes
    there is a path.


    April 19, 2011

    Moving forward, Zeno
    knew himself as a cat
    in a box. The fractions
    chased their own tails. Unobserved,
    he existed in every space
    at once, as an asymptote
    reaching zero.


    April 20, 2011

    Oh, my body realizes, this
    is rage. The electric heat of chemicals
    destroys and remakes,
    tiny focusing pinpricks. His hand
    on me, everything falls
    into place. I finally know
    what needs doing. My hand
    connects with his face, it realizes:
    this is violence and it feels like relief.


    April 21, 2011

    Barking once, the coyote
    is answered by the neighbor
    dog's long bay. The frogs in the way
    of all frogkind make love
    under the summer moon

    My sister and I
    read poetry on the porch. She says
    listen
    and moths fly from her mouth.


    April 22, 2011

    Zeus dissolved
    into a river of gold
    and never turned back.
    So it is with all gods, except
    those who were gold
    from the start.



    April 23, 2011

    Everything becomes itself, or has
    the potential to. You are never
    not yourself. Put forth
    sprouts of darkness, that is you
    and always has been. Fall in love,
    fall out. Peel off your scalp
    and plant a seed in the bone.

    It is still you. There is
    no such thing as change.




    Submitted on 2011-04-28 18:33:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      
    I am so intrigued by this. I read it when you posted & decided to come back, hoping I might be able to offer some sort of legitimate response, whatever that might mean. I'm not sure I'm any better off days later, but I find this so interesting, bothfor the way in which it is written & the concepts, & even tho each day is quite short, there is so much to garner from them.

    4/18 I especially love how you created the sentences here. I'm not even sure why, maybe because they feel like interruptions, or maybe they are being interrupted, giving only a moment of a description before moving onto the next. What I mean is that “All about, the murmurous world.” you have as one sentence. What is unpredictable is that the next sentence doesn't build on it. So often poems spend entire stanzas setting the scene before getting to the point, & this doesn't dally, which is fantastic, making it immediate in a way, but also forces the reader to readjust.

    I like that. & That third sentence is great, then the second stanza packs this great piece of wisdom that makes me think of zen philosophy, a tone that reiterates itself later, but these days don't tie together the way your first set did, which is not a criticism, more just a note on my part, & I find that interesting.

    4/19 makes me curious as to what you're studying & how the inspiration for this came about. It's a complex idea, & the way you've given it isn't bothered with making everyone understand. Again, I like this. I really love what you're forcing on the reader here, whether you intend to or not, you're forcing the reader to think beyond poetry & their own logic.

    4/20

    I love this. For the rage, & chemicals, & “His hand/on me, everything falls/into place” followed by another form of touch, violence, & how that too can feel like relief.

    4/21

    “frogkind” :)

    There is something about the parallels of canines and frogs, how they both can bark, that is a comparison not made here that's charming to me.

    & that is a scene setter for the point of your sister & you, the sharing that takes place, & how moths, words, become apart of the night.

    4/22

    Is like a riddle, & I like the token of wisdom again, & the way this makes me pause & ponder the perspective.

    4/23

    This final day is absolutely fantastic. It makes me think of how the acorn is both the oak & not the oak, & how being something & not being something has waged war on the philosophers' minds for years.

    & again, I really love how this explores concepts but doesn't explain them. That is not their intent, & I don't think it should be. This is excellent.

    & Last day today! I hope the strain hasn't caused any bitterness towards writing in general. That would be a shame. :)
    | Posted on 2011-05-01 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually read a book about NaNoWriMo which is similar to NaPoWriMo and it's interesting to be doing this exercise because it forces you to write when a person sometimes doesn't want to. After the end of the month, you just get so accustomed to writing on a daily basis, that it becomes second nature.

    I found it interesting to read the different days together. It feels like every day is a different atmosphere. Different vibes each day and that's what caught my attention the most. Your concepts are also very interesting as well.
    | Posted on 2011-04-29 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      harrassment, my hand on his face..."this is violence but it feels like relief"

    amen to that...violence doesn't always breed violence...often a violent act in the end can be calming.

    especially when it is necessary...
    | Posted on 2011-04-28 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i will be back to this...but just on the first part...

    wow..."the sun splits and the/ metaphors unravel"

    great line...

    but i really like the idea that "man gets lost only because he believes there is a path"

    and if he didn't? or didn't care...he would always be found...but how boring that would be...

    i really like your concepts...

    will be back on other parts of this.
    | Posted on 2011-04-28 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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