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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feeling Somethingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: misschalloner
    ASL Info:    24.F.CA
    Elite Ratio:    6.28 - 45/42/24
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 439
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 935



    Description:
       These feelings are overdue in being expressed.
    This is also the first thing I have written in quite a long time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeeling Somethingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nothing has enough weight for me to express just how much I love you
    Cheesy, yes very much so, but there's more to come
    Words may be choppy, premature, and full of butterflies
    Thoughts may be incomplete, messy, and scary
    Actions may be shaky, rash at times, and weird
    My love is never-changing though
    It breathes deep for you
    Only you though
    There's no need to express honesty because it's obvious
    Why announce it if it's from the heart
    Please, take my heart
    It's completely yours for my life
    I cannot believe you came along
    Yes, rocky roads have given us bumps, bruises, and even scars
    I will not give up though
    You, you are my northern star
    I will follow you through the dying days
    These days are radiant with the warmth of your arms wrapped around me
    Moments are slowed and special




    Submitted on 2011-05-01 03:37:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i feel this could be smoothed out a bit...and some of the repetition left out to make it tighter..but some really good lines...especially like "Words may be choppy, premature and full of butterflies"

    "moments are slowed and special"

    really good and different..but some of the cliché lines take a bit away from those...although overall..you present strong emotion.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-01 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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