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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Catharsisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: solararia
    ASL Info:    30/M/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 309/335/92
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 386
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1423



    Description:
       This is the least mature poem I've ever written. I realize that the subject matter is tired. Sorry. I'm not a sad teenager, I'm just trying to process some imagery and phrasing I've been bouncing around in my mind for some other works. I haven't written in awhile and need to get back up on my horse.

    Sadly I went through a period where I destroyed almost everything I ever wrote, drew, or painted because I was trying to be someone I wasn't. NEVER DO THIS! YOU'LL REGRET IT.

    I'm looking for honest responses, but mostly suggestions and impressions of imagery and flow.

    Thanks,
    e.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCatharsisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’ve had to kill myself, cut by cut,
    Never having the courage for one fell swoop.
    Chemical scalpel to my mind,
    Erasing the trauma proof by proof.

    I never realized I was at war,
    A victim to your terror,
    I loved you like the child I was,
    You fucked me like your prisoner.

    Love has become a currency,
    To purchase what I need,
    Emotions all manufactured,
    With crocodile blood I bleed
    From every oozing open wound
    That I let scab then scrape
    From every purple fucking bruise,
    From every single rape,
    From every sisal fiber blistering
    Like a chain around my neck
    From every finger print you left tatooed
    into my virgin flesh.

    You took everything I was from me
    My past, my present, my future,
    And as I child I had to learn
    To operate and to suture.

    I did the best I ever could,
    I had to make you proud,
    I choked the reality from my throat
    This could never be spoken aloud.

    It seems a little safer here,
    behind this sallowed pane of glass,
    Scared of seeing clearly this person you made me,
    Afraid of becoming my past.

    I do this for you,
    Though you did this to me,
    I keep myself buried,
    And you walked away free.






    Submitted on 2011-05-02 09:33:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it. You mention the subject as angsty. I guess it is, but no matter how old you are it's still the most "inspiring" emotion. But yeah I liked the first stanza. I felt an identity crisis. Sifting through creations of yours, or "proof" and destroying it while becoming something else.
    The relationship of victim and surpressor was the cliché part to me. Not the way you did it, I just had an "I feel like I read this before" kinda feelng. The metaphorical rape, and coming to either full circle or closure. You did show ambiguity with that though, I liked that.
    I am farely confident that this was just a warm up from you, so Im looking forward to future writes.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2011-05-04 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]


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