Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Windsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: was_i_ever_real
    ASL Info:    23 _ f _ tx
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 194/91/52
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Nature
    Total Views: 521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1190



    Description:
       I have been gone a long time. This was just an exercise to start writing again. Perhaps I'll develop it more once I get my rhythm back, but for now, it's nice to just have something coming from my fingertips.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Windsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the city I call my home, for two months (usually March and April), the winds come. Not everyday, but often enough and very suddenly. On those days, it's rare to see the blue of the sky after the early morning hours. Instead, the sky is colored tan, and there is a constant rushing sound in your ears, and your lungs are coated with dust, and there is a thin layer of dirt on your skin.

    During those two months, it's impossible to take a bath without first taking a shower, unless you like muddy bath water. Car washes are on the brink of shutting down at the end of April, because after the first few days, we all give up on trying to keep our cars clean...but on the plus side, wind shield wiper fluid sales go up.

    Everyone complains when the winds come...but these are my favorite months of the year. I love the fury, and invisible destruction. And the winds bring the warmth of summer, and the smells of the places they've just been. They bring new dreams, and carry away all of my failures and disappointments.

    After the winds, I am left clean (in a metaphorical sense of course) and given a chance to begin again.




    Submitted on 2011-05-02 15:03:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Isn't nature previous and a model tool for learning? I enjoyed the simplicity of this write even though nature is never simple and almost always complex. There is an originality in this write where turmoil is the antecedent of the disaster that brings about a new beginning. Ask old things are carried away and new beginnings are introduced. Awesome.
    | Posted on 2011-11-03 00:00:00 | by CaramelCandy | [ Reply to This ]
      Delightful words.The winds are carrying me away!



    grim
    | Posted on 2011-05-31 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      a cleansing, a beginning again...

    i like this..and the mix of mundane, everday things made poetic by mixing them with the nature of things..the wind which gusts through our lives and creates movement in our world and ourselves and somehow leaves us just a bit different...but then maybe better....

    i relate since we have had three straight weeks of storms, high winds and flooding...but there is sunshine today...rebirth..and things don't look so bleak. there are possibilities abounding for new life.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      The whole description is excellent! First of all, it is a nameless city vibrant with winds...

    "Instead, the sky is colored tan, and there is a constant rushing sound in your ears, and your lungs are coated with dust, and there is a thin layer of dirt on your skin."

    so simple and yet so realistic... i cant find a flaw in your writing. it is totally enjoyable.

    the tit bits about bathing and car wash are intersting.

    your welcome stance towards wind is towards them is both admirable and motivating.



    "And the winds bring the warmth of summer, and the smells of the places they've just been. They bring new dreams, and carry away all of my failures and disappointments"

    i felt that a sweet scent of rain and wind passed me by.
    | Posted on 2011-05-03 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      
    I enjoyed this. I think mostly for its colloquial voice, & how it's taking note of the ordinary things people might pause to think on a second, but would never put into poetry or creative writing necessarily, if that makes much sense. I guess I find that there's a lot of significance in the day to day stuff that should be brought up creatively a little more, rather than trying to draw from something ethereal all the time.

    So yes, this does that for me. & I like how you begin because it is of the ultimate ordinary, but then that parenthetical “usually May and April”, a side note added for clarification. You didn't have to add that, but you did, & there's just something charming about it. Like admitting something, the way one might initially say “the spider was as big as a damn dog!” and then sheepishly correct themselves “well, alright, maybe not that big”. & you bring that back in the ending too, with the metaphorically clean.

    & the bit about the washing cars, & washer fluid sales. & the various affects of the winds, both emotionally, economically, geographically, etc. I really like how all the considerations are taken in.
    | Posted on 2011-05-03 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190687

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Love written by saartha
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry