Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DarkGunslinger
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 7/25/23
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 406
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1172



    Description:
       a rather odd song I wrote at about 5:30am.
    it probably isn't very good. I have no idea what I was writing about, though it'll probably come to me later and I'll write another better version.
    cheers.



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A sound

    like settling down

    tongues tied and passing sickness
    like lepers in delirium

    A walk

    slinky and full of shock

    legs will twist and lock up
    like broken puzzles

    A touch

    feverish, too much

    dead girl skin with boiling blood
    like a sinister trap

    ---

    bones jut like
    a dead scarecrow

    teeth break
    like silhouettes, oh

    you trap me
    like a wounded sparrow

    ta-king
    a ruthless arrow

    monsters
    destroy me

    wasting
    my time to be

    hating
    all that you see

    breaking
    the bonds that hold you to seek

    and in this dark
    I find a heart
    to guide me far away

    and in this heart
    I'll find a man
    who'll lead me back
    lead me back to serve

    and in this spot
    I'll find a home
    to kill me again
    to kill it all away








    Submitted on 2011-05-03 04:31:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Seems to me you've found your inner serial killer :) Kudos
    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190697

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    prison written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry