Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Atmospheric Perspectivedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mieko
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 253/209/99
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 478
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1207



    Description:
       Water vapor/haze that obscures objects to the eye, things get colder as they get further away....
    Typically, I seek not for the sophisticated but I gravitate instead toward the simple.
    (warm up description of me being sick a week and a 1/2 ago)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAtmospheric Perspectivedots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's not like - when you're trying to get comfortable, and you flip the pillow over or pull your blankets closer. It's more like when you're trapped in a simple room with just you, and that feeling. Sleep won't even visit, and thirst and hunger have long since abandoned you. Just you, and this physical pain with no foreseeable end and no reason that you know of, for it's existing. At first you thought it could have been food poisoning. You realize for, not the first time, that your pulse is racing but you forget to breathe every couple of seconds. You lye in bed, on one side, the pain seems to lessen. You move, it burns. You become frustrated, and sit up on the edge of the bed. It hurts. You stand up, sit down, lean your head in your left hand, kind of doze off. Wake up, try the other side. It doesn't seem to work. The cat wonders what her human is up to, tries to snuggle, and get's gently pushed aside. You try to lay down, try to ignore the pain. The cat flops down on your arm which is acceptable. You seem to be waiting patiently for sunrise, because the doctor and relief and explanation - are the only things that will unlock the door to this room.




    Submitted on 2011-05-03 20:48:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The whole restlessness is so wonderfully described here. (this is fever incarnate)

    we have all gone through exactly the same experience, havent we? and the bit about cat wondering about 'her human' is purely entertaining.

    enjoyed this!
    | Posted on 2011-05-04 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190712

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Etiquette written by saartha
    The World written by jjd
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Cover written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry