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    dots Submission Name: I know you take me seriouslydots

    Author: Keiran
    ASL Info:    20/M/NZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.64 - 40/47/33
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 424
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1146

       This is not the poem I had in mind when I started writing it :p

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI know you take me seriouslydots

    Something isn't right
    This much I know
    As we pick up our feet once again
    Running in perfectly synchronised
    Purposeless rhythm

    [This isn't a hopeful poem]

    Someone isn't right here
    As we pick up our instruments
    Discord over chords
    And dynamically altered pitch and key
    Run this creative venture into the ground

    [This isn't a happy poem]

    Something is definitely not right
    As we pick up the pieces
    Of another impossible puzzle
    Each withholding the final piece
    Out of good form

    [This isn't a completely honest poem]

    This isn't wrong
    As we pick up our brushes
    Content to use up the present
    Painting over our past
    In preparation for a recurring future

    [This isn't a simple poem]

    This is probably right
    As we pick each other up
    And put ourselves down
    Because laughter is the best medicine
    For what we got

    [This isn't a poem at all]

    Submitted on 2011-05-04 16:35:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "running in perfectly synchronized / purposeless rhythm"

    nice conflict in that phrase..

    and i like how you have the two poems running simultaneously here...

    "this isn't a poem at all"

    yet it very much is...and is quite expressive.

    "use up the present/ painting over the past"

    i like this piece, mucho. nice use of paradox, imagery etc .

    | Posted on 2011-05-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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