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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Oak Greendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: clovernfoxglove
    Elite Ratio:    6.13 - 134/145/43
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1340
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918



    Description:
       What I feel when I lay beneath the oak trees..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOak Greendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oak green,
    spice of all snapped, sappling shoots
    and stretching skyward limbs;

    the shade of shade
    and the fuzz-moss carpet
    where I lay my head this afternoon.

    Sunlight waltzes amongst tree leaves,
    filters through;
    tinted chlorophyllic,
    scented slightly
    with the summer hue

    of canopies
    twisting,
    tossing,
    turning,
    dancing,
    yearning
    for the coming drops of cooling rain.

    Peace idyllic
    where I lie

    Beneath
    half thunder, half sun

    building cloud castles in the sky.

    I am oak green,
    sunken into waiting ground;
    Morphing,
    Melding,
    Melting
    into the reedy, whispering sound.

    Breathing,
    Beating,
    Being,

    Oak green
    Oak green...




    Submitted on 2011-05-04 18:58:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Oak Green.... Oak Green...

    I love this piece. Somewhere we used to live, there was this oak tree that I learned to climb from the top of my swing set. Every branch made a spiral staircase around and around the tree, into the top. The roots were forked and made "fairy houses" at the bottom. I used to take my books up into it and one day, after falling asleep and nearly falling out, I took a board up with some nails and hammer and made myself a little "bench" to sit on, so I could lean back against the branch behind it and sleep safer. I loved the colors of the green in it, with the sun filtering through the top. For awhile, that tree was my whole world. I wanted to sleep in it at night, too, but my mother would come out after dark and make me come down and go in my room. In my room, I would sleep under my bed, with a utility hook lightbulb on the extension cord thing. She would always get so mad and once she finally took my bed out since I wasn't going to use it. So I moved into the closet and slept sitting up against the wall. Yeah, I was a weird...

    But this took me back to summer in my tree. I wanted a tree house, but never in that tree... I didn't want to hurt it with the nails. I didn't want to cut any limbs. I just wanted it the way it was, with that little bench and the leaves in all the splashes of greens... In fall it was so pretty when it turned red.

    Thank you for taking me home to it again.
    | Posted on 2011-06-19 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      As usual, to properly comment on anything, I must share more poetry. This reminds me of lines from one of my poems, 'Earth, see a son is born from man and flower':

    "Have you ever laid down in a field and felt it envelop you?

    I have, and one time I lay so long that my blood became chlorophyll
    and my eyes, blossoms leaning towards the sun.
    That was when she picked me, Gaia's daughter,
    and held me dearly in her soft, lavender arms."

    I love the very idea of lying down amidst the flora, and becoming almost one with it. Let the wind blow through you as if you were grass, let it play with your petals.

    And here I take shade beneath the tree of you.

    Wonderful piece, clover! Wish I had better words to share, but the best I can say are the old standbys, 'wonderful', 'great', 'lovely, 'amazing', etc. and so on.

    And thus why I speak in poetry, trying to conform myself to your theme, whether in favour (which is usually the case) or against (which is ultimately rare, as I tend not to comment on pieces I don't enjoy in some way, which sounds rather harsh, but that's the way it is with me).

    ~Ashke
    | Posted on 2011-06-19 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
      yes! i really love this piece! i think that you've done a great job in describing you experience/emotion while beneath the oak.

    i especially love the whimsical waltz type feel of the piece. you apply great imagery and emotionality. (the building blocks of great poems). you employed both sonics and alliteration as a means to an end well.

    Oak green-
    spice of all snapped,
    sapling shoots
    stretching skyward AS limbs;

    the shade of shade
    and the fuzz-moss carpet
    where I lay my head this afternoon...thus thus (i think that this is a somewhat unfinished statement). it, too me, sound a little choppy and incomplete.

    however, i think that there are some really wonderful images here. i really love the playful why that you use them.

    overall, i think that this is a good piece, but it needs some refinement and editing.

    these are just some of my thoughts...

    -jp
    | Posted on 2011-05-06 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      yes! i really love this piece! i think that you've done a great job in describing you experience/emotion while beneath the oak.

    i especially love the whimsical waltz type feel of the piece. you apply great imagery and emotionality. (the building blocks of great poems). you employed both sonics and alliteration as a means to an end well.

    Oak green-
    spice of all snapped,
    sapling shoots
    stretching skyward AS limbs;

    the shade of shade
    and the fuzz-moss carpet
    where I lay my head this afternoon...thus thus (i think that this is a somewhat unfinished statement). it, too me, sound a little choppy and incomplete.

    however, i think that there are some really wonderful images here. i really love the playful why that you use them.

    overall, i think that this is a good piece, but it needs some refinement and editing.

    these are just some of my thoughts...

    -jp
    | Posted on 2011-05-06 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this, you've captured a feeling very well. The imagery of the peace in the moment, as well as the constant (but still peaceful) movement on the tree branches is great.

    I love watching plants move in the wind, it's entrancing, and I can and have done it for hours.

    I sometimes think the moments of feeling that you're describing can only come when we're alone in nature. I mean, I can count on one hand the number of friends I have who can just . . . be quiet and still, and just enjoy. And then you get asked why you're all quiet and withdrawn, because something must surely be wrong! No, just trying to take in something infinitely more interesting and beautiful than the next conversational topic.

    But yes, one again I'm reminded that I spend too much time working in my life, when doing the right kind of nothing is often times a better idea.

    Thanks for a cool write :)

    ~Keiran~
    | Posted on 2011-05-05 00:00:00 | by Keiran | [ Reply to This ]
      the vision i got in this was something like in the movie "phenomenon"

    becoming one with nature...the swaying trees like our swaying minds...thoughts growing like leaves and fluttering...our experiences growing strong roots to keep us solid...to keep us grounded...

    really got into this piece...nice analogy of nature to the human spirit.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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