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    dots Submission Name: a migration of chancedots

    Author: solararia
    ASL Info:    30/M/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 309/335/92
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 992
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 234


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    dotsa migration of chancedots

    We Fall Apart
    Like feathered puffs from a regenerative weed
    Twisting in the thoughtless breeze,
    borne on the breath of strange winds,

    landing desperate to meet our mourn...
    and burst again.

    Submitted on 2011-05-04 21:45:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
    This is such a good little poem, really. The beginning is perfect because it could lead anywhere, & so often the aspect of falling can be very overdone & dramatic in poetry, but here the way you describe the falling, what comes after that first line is a pleasure to read. I love the idea of a "regenerative dandelion" with such a big word, & mechanical sound, juxtaposed with nature & softer sounds & imagery. It works so nicely.

    & the breeze is thoughtless, free, the winds are strange. Again, even though this is speaking of foreignness, in a sense, it is at ease.

    Is "mourn" supposed to be "morn"?

    & I love how it comes full circle, bring back that regenerative. Great title to boot, just got it all going on & working together. I also like that it is so short, yet packs a punch.
    | Posted on 2011-05-06 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful and profound! That bursting apart seems tragic at first but actually it is meant for seeding the future.... abundantly.

    Thoughtless breeze and strange winds point to the uncertainty of directions but they never question the creative potential of the seed.

    wow! this is an instant favourite!
    | Posted on 2011-05-05 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]

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