Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a migration of chancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: solararia
    ASL Info:    30/M/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 309/335/92
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 584
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 234



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa migration of chancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    We Fall Apart
    Like feathered puffs from a regenerative weed
    Twisting in the thoughtless breeze,
    borne on the breath of strange winds,

    landing desperate to meet our mourn...
    and burst again.




    Submitted on 2011-05-04 21:45:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    This is such a good little poem, really. The beginning is perfect because it could lead anywhere, & so often the aspect of falling can be very overdone & dramatic in poetry, but here the way you describe the falling, what comes after that first line is a pleasure to read. I love the idea of a "regenerative dandelion" with such a big word, & mechanical sound, juxtaposed with nature & softer sounds & imagery. It works so nicely.

    & the breeze is thoughtless, free, the winds are strange. Again, even though this is speaking of foreignness, in a sense, it is at ease.

    Is "mourn" supposed to be "morn"?

    & I love how it comes full circle, bring back that regenerative. Great title to boot, just got it all going on & working together. I also like that it is so short, yet packs a punch.
    | Posted on 2011-05-06 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful and profound! That bursting apart seems tragic at first but actually it is meant for seeding the future.... abundantly.

    Thoughtless breeze and strange winds point to the uncertainty of directions but they never question the creative potential of the seed.

    wow! this is an instant favourite!
    | Posted on 2011-05-05 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190728

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Records I written by Raphael
    Dream written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry