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Author: rws ASL Info:    62/m/Ohio Elite Ratio:    8 - 2788 /1297 /258 Words: 50

Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Misc Total Views: 1875 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 349

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Li Po reigns his horse with whips of kindness is every despot master of the sea? Mai Ling wept, she hadn't any weapons, her enemies lay frozen at her feet Xiou Du cast a pebble in the ocean listening as the ripples fell asleep

Submitted on 2011-05-06 14:41:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Listening as the ripples fell asleep. Very beautiful conclusion. I am not familiar with the characters but I very much appreciate this piece. I found it interesting that the enemies lay dead at Mai Lings feet without the presence of a weapon. Someone else slay them perhaps? The mystery mixed with the tenderness of emotion, this was graceful in essence. I liked it very much. Thank you for sharing.

| Posted on 2015-04-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

A historical Read , glad this one make sense to me :) it's full yet empty , words with hidden meanings i like it , i guess the only thing i would change would be filling it out, being some readers might not exactly know who your talking about lol but clearly from comments most do :) Looking forward to reading more :)

| Posted on 2013-12-19 00:00:00 | by kyserin | [ Reply to This ]

These whips of kindness can be pretty lethel and make a deep impact without leaving any scar. In the second stanza, Mai Ling is perhaps mourning the easy death of a tough challenge... you know what is a warrior without a war. The image in the last lines is incredibly soothing, I never thought that ripples take birth and die in the same instant. Profound! yet the image of sleeping does more justice to the transient existence of ripples as if they are still there somewhere in the fluidity of the ocean and can be roused back. Very interesting!

| Posted on 2011-05-23 00:00:00 | by Kaddish | [ Reply to This ]

Superb imagery. It reminds me of endings. Like the ending of a movie of 3 different yet, connected souls. How does one have enemies falling, frozen at their feet when one has no weapons? Simple charm? Whatever you were going for here, i enjoyed the feeling each part gave me.

| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]

It gives one the sense of a coming collision of epic proportions. I’d love to see more on these characters and their story. I think you have something that could really become something here. Even if this is all there ever is this is beautiful in its simplicity.

| Posted on 2011-05-17 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

Seconding the admiration of 'listening as the ripples/fell asleep.' That's a truly beautiful line.

| Posted on 2011-05-09 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]

i'll be back to this..but wow.. "listening as the ripples/ fell asleep" intriguing line. and "whips of kindness" nice use of paradox... the middle stanza is interesting...like she is sad because she defeated her enemies simply with her cold heart....and now that it is thawing...she is weeping..the tears of the thaw.... be back jacob

| Posted on 2011-05-06 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

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