Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: faithdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 26
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1110
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 182



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfaithdots
    -------------------------------------------






    i watched a bird sing. and
    every inch of his soul shook.

    every inch.





    Submitted on 2011-05-07 20:54:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      As a singer I sometimes lose myself almost completely to the act, but usually it's more of a thoughtfully contrived production, not nearly as ad lib and impromptu as a bird. All this to say i definitely relate to this expression. A simple three lines but so true, so true.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2014-06-04 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      It's like that. The less we have to trouble ourselves with the louder and more earnestly we can sing. I watch birds a lot, and in the neighborhood we live in which is like a minature reserve in a metro area, there are birds outside, always outside the windows repeating their simple mantras. They don't need to be told, reminded of anything. The sun is their signal, shaking out the substance of a small soul. Beatiful articulation of this idea.
    | Posted on 2014-05-23 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      Small one. great. Can't wait for more. Would look great in an anthology. Yes I get it matters. That emphasis. Indeed. Great.
    | Posted on 2013-08-23 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nicely done.
    | Posted on 2012-11-20 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      i watched a bird sing me a song
    one for yes two for no five for man
    i asked it questions and it answered slow
    ever since i've forever ran
    hurried down invisible roads
    hurried down backworded allies
    other things in life i'd misspell
    but not this bird
    some ancient mountain
    some allways movement
    Faith
    yes
    this is faith
    | Posted on 2011-11-27 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      and i "heard" a bird fly...
    | Posted on 2011-08-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm glad to read this. i'd like to think you saw miles by the end.
    | Posted on 2011-08-15 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so beautiful.

    i watched a bird sing. and
    every inch of his soul shook.

    every inch.

    I love how you incorporate singing, that you have observed the spirituality of sound, a friend of mine told me that one meaning for praise is to sing a new song, this reminded me of that.

    I also adore how you stress every inch, that you tell the reader something so simple and make them revisit that idea with that emphasis, it is structured beautifully to demonstrate the power of what you have observed.

    Thank you so much for sharing this piece it is a favorite of mine that I have ever read.

    EVER read :)
    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me that all of nature gives of itself in a way that is 100%, uncomplicated by the inhibitions or blocking influences and emotions that we humans have....

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2011-08-03 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Well..I must say I haven't read a better three line piece than this one here. It left behind a lingering ring sound, like most epic things do.

    I like the imagery of somethings' soul shaking, and not just their physical bodies. Like this bird was singing from his inner light, and his whole body represented that. A soul is really all we are, when it comes down to it.

    Birds are tiny but they hold quiet a lot inside of them. Hummingbirds eat every ten minutes, and eat twice their weight everyday. They must sing with their souls to burn all those calories off. lol.

    Beautiful write.

    Daisy
    | Posted on 2011-08-02 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]
      A great little piece. I focus in on the word "soul" here because I think it's the essence of the piece. It would not have had nearly the same impact if you had used the word "body", for example, which is a tangible and finite entity. The soul is not. It has not boundaries or borders; therefore "every inch" is truly immeasurable.

    A wonderful write!!!
    | Posted on 2011-05-22 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      I watched a bird sing. and
    every inch of his soul shook.

    every inch.

    I like the repetition of 'every inch' and this correlates to the title well because it isn't faith unless it's 100%.

    I'm not sure 'and' is pulling its weight. What about just leaving it out, or replacing it with a word like 'how' ? Just a thought.
    I like the deceptive simplicity of this. Nicely done.~Chris
    | Posted on 2011-05-22 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      :) I like that birds do everything with every little inch of soul they're given.

    I was watching Harry Potter last night for the umpteenth hundred time, thinking how expendable song birds are in the movie... they always are reduced to a little zap-fry of non-existence, save the little puff of feathers at the end that dissipate like sparks.

    Pretty songs cut short in a no-fly zone.

    I like this. Good to see you post... your page was depressingly empty there for a minute :)

    | Posted on 2011-05-10 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, hell. You've ruined me for other minimalist pieces forever. I hope you're happy! You should be, because this is...hmmm. A narrowing. I feel like I'm falling down a tunnel that keeps getting smaller. It is agitation and fervor all mixed up with unwinding.

    This is like breaching a hill to see the sun, breaching the sun to see everything.

    In other words: wow wow wow wow wow.

    | Posted on 2011-05-09 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]
      the emphasis that you place on "every inch" is breath taking in its simplicity and yet, it shakes one to the philosophical core.

    i submit to you, that, to live and breath, and move with all of one's being according to the purposes in which they were created for, is that for which the universe finds its meaning, as it were.

    this piece has a keen haiku feel to it. what can i say?- i really love this write. in other words, it shook me;)

    very nice!
    -jp

    ps i would love for you to stop by and comment on my work. from this piece i can tell that you really know ur stuff. please post more.
    | Posted on 2011-05-08 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      and those tiny wings
    are like the tongues of children
    who've just learned to leap and sing
    | Posted on 2011-05-08 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      they are small. ...but they pack a wallop in those little bodies...
    people always say "you eat like a bird" but actually for their size they eat quite a bit...

    i like the period after sing---works well..i like the halt in the reading...and after shook.

    this poem made me think of elvis..."all shook up"

    lots in three lines.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i just got back from my eliteskills deprivation, and i come to this. my first poem to return to is this. and this is greatly encouraging, because this poem of yours is so big. it should be written on walls and doorways and gates and sidewalks and remembered and appriciated. i love it. know that your extremely talented, and Never Never stop writing. even if the world caves in around you and the sun goes out and every soul stops living, dont ever stop writing. - with love. kt
    | Posted on 2011-05-07 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the emphasis here, that "every inch". & tho this is only three lines, it doesn't feel like only three lines, if that makes much sense. I feel completely satisfied after reading it.

    It would be so good to be able to articulate your being like that, wouldn't it? To sing with your whole self.

    & I like too, how you are the witness here, & how the title relates to both you & the bird.

    Yup.

    I'm so glad you posted. :)
    | Posted on 2011-05-07 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190763

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Cover written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Carry written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Records I written by Raphael
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The World written by jjd
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    prison written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry