This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

my body is a cage

Author: Theophilus
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 116 /174 /95
Words: 102
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1130
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 667


learning to love my dad instead of hating him means i have to be the bigger man and take his shots, words and sneers and anger like bullets, and instead of shooting back just taking it. and saying the hardest word in the world, "im sorry."

Love is real and bigger- because God is Love and with Him behind me i can do this.

amen, because this is a prayer, its a commitment, its something i really want to do. i want God to hold me accountable to this.

my body is a cage

lets lay our pistols down
im tired of hating you
lets dip our feet in eachothers suffering
and see that youre human just like me.

we'll never be free
until we learn to love
so lets lay our pistols down.

but if you wont lay yours down
ill take the shots
so maybe youll see
what life can be.

Love is real
and He's bigger then any bullet wound
ill take it
ill be the bigger man
if i need to be

"im sorry"


Submitted on 2011-05-07 21:54:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  "He's bigger than any bullet wound"

love is the answer isn't it?

it takes so much more energy to hate, to be mad at someone---

better to let it you say "lay the pistols down"

needs some apostrophes and "each other's"
separated...but aside from that...

this has a nice analogy that works...

there is so much tension before a duel...and someone has to lose...sometimes both shooters let's just lay down the weapons (the words of anger and hate)

and go have a beer at the saloon...

| Posted on 2011-05-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?