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    dots Submission Name: NaPoWriMo Enddots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 230/385/134
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1388

       So I failed to keep up in the last week. Santi persuaded me to post the last couple of poems that I managed to write.

    April 26: I really just can not stand it when people like me. It is a burden.
    April 29: I went to Rome during the beatification of the pope. This poor policeman, he looked so bored directing the tourists.
    April 30: Be there God or none, I am enough.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNaPoWriMo Enddots

    April 26, 2011

    He is in love with me,
    this young man. I think him
    into a low beast, his voice
    nothing but animal chuffs.

    He becomes as I
    have always been.

    April 29, 2011

    The follicles of water
    spring up
    from the fountain.

    I can only remember
    remembering it, Rome
    growing like a weed
    in its own ruins. The molted husk
    of the Coliseum, the pope's
    off-key sermon. The pope's
    gaudy tomb.

    The roiling millions.

    Leaving, it all falls away. Just
    this remains:
    the baby-faced policeman,
    arm out, eyes skyward,
    obviously wishing
    to be anywhere else.

    April 30, 2011

    The caves hold everything,
    there in the heart.
    Leaning back, fat
    with fondness for it all,
    on the knees of God
    or Universe
    or whatever

    I am soft, so soft,
    boneless and scarcely
    breathing, limp as a cat

    in the face of God
    in the ear of God
    I say

    without you
    and within me
    I am lambent.

    Submitted on 2011-05-09 14:48:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this. Especially these lines:
    growing like a weed
    in its own ruins."
    They are pure genius! I also like how you used the word roiling. I didn't knew it even exists. But I looked it up and now I know it. I might use it too, I really like the motion it describes and as far as I know there isn't any other word to describe exactly that.
    | Posted on 2011-07-08 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
    I actually like the affect of this, the end straggling out with the days that are missed. Obviously I'm more aware of this having read the other days, and so their absence gives them a presence, but not at all distracting.

    & I guess to the unknowing reader, well, they wouldn't notice at all.

    I love this "I think him/into a low beast" and "be becomes as I/have always been." You have a way of giving these very complete images & startling ideas but without providing the context, and I don't know what it is about that that I enjoy so much.

    You were in Rome for the beatification? Isn't it weird and cultish? The women of my family were all a flutter. I'm from Italy. Where the hell are you in the world? The lasting impression of this day is perfect, that contrast with all the raving & roving. & I like that his eyes are skyward.

    & tho it may not be intended, 4/30 takes off from 4/29 in that it takes off from all that pomp and sort redefines God/aspects of God. I think you said it best in your description there. But this "the caves hold everything,/there in the heart" & how the details are unimportant, only what is, God, Universe, whatever. & There's a defiance to this, a self-ownership.

    Anyway, I'm so happy you posted this & I'm glad I happened to be around when you forced yourself to write. I really do want it to continue, even tho they say you shouldn't force creativity. I can't say reading these poems supports that at all.
    | Posted on 2011-05-10 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]

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