Knowing that you are around,
I can't breath,
The earth is crashing down
The rips and tides that hold me
Right against the wall
are pushing me to fall
back in to you.
Afraid of what you'll say if you see me,
Point out that my heart won't stop beating
when you are near me.
whether from love or fear,
I can't have you near
Because you'll judge what isn't right
Hold it against the time
When you couldn't lead me to
Your state of mind.
This doesn't end in complacency,
I'm unsure why though
It seems like everyone else can fall in and out of love
That the people who once meant the world to them,
Are either happy memories, forever friends,
Or forgiven souls and make-pretend.
but you, you mean forever.
You mean the months of waiting, of patience,
Of never-ending guilt, will never leave me,
As long as you are that two hour and a half drive away.
Across state lines, inside my mind, you are still
Just as close as you'll ever be.
For if I run around the world, I'm sure you'll catch me
This merry-go-round, make-believe,
Isn't enough to calm the fact that your place in my life,
Still scares the living shit out of me.
And yet I look for you too,
I look for your figure looming, laughing, holding me,
For just the thought of you brings me comfort when I am ill,
Brings me solace, even still.
When I know I shouldn't,
I know I'm simply looking in an effort to stop the pain,
To see if you still feel the way I do,
If you have changed enough to pursue.
Maybe I was in love, once, a long time ago. I may never be again.