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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hoarder. dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EshyFishy
    ASL Info:    21yo mess having crises
    Elite Ratio:    6.92 - 126/123/57
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 662
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 432



    Description:
       IT'S BEEN AGES MKAY.

    GO EASY ON ME. (:

    First post in ages.

    srsly, life is sh*t.

    I'm exhausted with it all.

    Thus my writing sucks.


    MY WRITING SUCKS KCOOL WE'RE CLEAR


    why am I even posting.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHoarder. dots
    -------------------------------------------


    She's a hoarder,
    that girl
    sitting alone
    locked up in her own world.

    Her mind clogged
    with memories too precious
    & her eternal longing
    infectious.

    ---

    A room full of memories
    can keep you safe
    But eventually all this 'stuff'
    the misery & hate
    will hit you hard just like a
    tidal wave.




    Submitted on 2011-05-10 03:17:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this piece has a lot of potential :) Honestly, I do. And it isn't too shabby to begin with, either. I like that you used hoarder, a more physical phenomenon, and translated it to the emotional side. Honestly, I would definitely be the hoarder your poem describes, holding on to memories and thoughts for hope that that will comfort and soothe me, when really they just cause pain.

    Good stuff,
    -Miranda
    | Posted on 2011-06-01 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]
      Not to worry, age will eventually take care of any such problems. Love ya.
    | Posted on 2011-05-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      "just like a tidal wave exposed/ in a leaky attic"


    or something...don't mind me...i'm just adding in my own mind...
    | Posted on 2011-05-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't think this piece sucks at all...

    i think the Hoarder idea is really good...and the first two stanzas and half the last one convey that so well...i don't feel the last two lines quite fit...at least to me...i wanted an ending that fit more with the "hoarder" idea....the "
    tidal wave" seems to come out of nowhere from a different poem altogether.

    but saving up the memories, not letting them go...they build up like junk in an attic or basement or trailer and eventually crowd the speaker so much that he or she cannot find a way to the door.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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