Reflections of Elysian Fields
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Description:
Reflections of Elysian Fields
We were cha-RIPPIN' past sex and falling off the bed when Johnny (couldn't tell good from bad back then) held that green wine bottle up over his head and made the stark announcement, ANNOUNCEMENT! WhenEVER You see this goddamn duck (That's not a duck, Johnny...) This goddamn DUCK! (That's not a duck, Johnny!) Well wtf is it then??? (That's a Swan...) This goddamn SWAN... you remember me! You remember... Wait a minute, are you sure that's a swan...? It swam unaffected by the drugs under a little bridge in a town stamped on paper, and I swore I'd remember forever, ForEVER, everything about his room and that soft sagging bed, and the way the rain stained the roof-shingles of the house next door, the view of gray skies and blue eyes and somehow I do but it takes the Mateus to bring him back to me. |
Submitted on 2011-05-13 00:00:19 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| he belched, tipped the bottle flashed the neighbors and warbled: I am the King of England I love to sing and dance all three of you, stop spinning! there's a party in my pants... (which were hung from a street sign on the Jersey state line) sh-boom...yeah! | Posted on 2011-05-16 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ] | Good, now flush it out. OR, perhaps write a series and string them together to provide the weight it deserves. | | Posted on 2011-05-14 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ] | okay good scene here...i feel like a voyeur...in the room with johnny and the speaker...wanting to yell at him..."it's a swan" just take another swig...and we'll be forever... | one thing i really like that you capture here is the house across the way, the rain stained roof shingles... some of the things we notice as we lay in bed after an interlude...where are our thoughts? do we want to be out there or in here...? do we feel trapped or content... is it the wine or do we really like each other... and what was this that we just did? uh oh! i remember my first ex wife and i when we were dating...staying at this farmhouse of a friend of hers...the view out the bedroom window was like a painting...it helped set the mood...but we didn't have Mateus...or Cold Duck...and there were no Swans... just a barn...but a beautiful barn...and a cozy feeling... the mixture of poetry, prose, dialogue, sex, anger...all of it...this is something you do quite well...such raw and real stuff... excuse me, i will leave you two alone now... jacob | Posted on 2011-05-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ] | |
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