Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I am the Onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kaddish
    Elite Ratio:    5.42 - 53/41/18
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 617
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1534



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am the Onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I Am the One

    I am the landscape, I am the panorama
    From me into me, the snakes are slithering
    On my stony outspread palm, olive colored toads leap
    I am a piece of paradise, inviting you to stray into me.

    I am a bright expanse, burning luminosity
    I am the dry bushes, brambles and tree stumps
    I am the creaking sound of aflame branches
    And I am the approaching breeze, still wet with dew.

    I am the shudder running through the tender blades of grass
    I am a little nest of moths on underside of a nameless leaf
    I am the rotten bread crumb, lovingly shared by a tribe of ants
    And I am the blue-green sky sliding across the groves and thickets.

    I am the sonorous moan of the oars dipping into silence
    I am the murmurous ripple disturbing the waves
    And in turn obscured by their upturned glitter
    Now I am the golden bird that just alighted on your boats prow.


    I am the bared sword of an alive sun gleam
    I am the hard stubble that ceased to be a cornfield
    I am the oozing drop of honey, I am the glinting trail of resin
    And I am the tangled spiders web trying to thicken the undergrowth.

    I am the white-haired serenity and I am the suckling baby
    I am the One you can understand but cannot explain
    I am the motionlessness of a long awakened rock
    And yet I am no more than a loose end of the Knot.





    Submitted on 2011-05-16 00:19:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      bookmark, i like this and think it could use some variation, i don't have time for comment today. so, yup, a bookmark.
    | Posted on 2011-05-23 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      How wonderfully all omnipresent!

    This actually could come across several ways: as humankind's pervasive need to define & be apart of everything, or the unification of humankind with nature; humans as apart of rather than separate from or ruler of the environment.

    I tend to think of the latter, as the tone of this seems to be of peace & mindfulness & really has a great affect. I love all the details, & the transitions, how those details build & build on each other. It strikes me as being quite religious, with a leaning toward the more monotheistic variety, but with a zen like quality as well.

    Anyway, this can either be deeply thought on or simply read & enjoyed for the beauty of its language, which is admiral in itself. Well done in pretty much every way, & I enjoy the riddle quality of the last two lines as well. Something to make the reader ponder a bit further beyond the poem.
    | Posted on 2011-05-18 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Man needs a connection to nature. It helps quiet and sooth the soul. It is something that many of us (especially in the U.S.) have lost. GOD is in nature, and sometimes speaks to us through such. I may not be sold on the idea that “bad” entertainment has a negative effect upon the mind. I am however thoroughly convinced that “good” entertainment, such as slowing down and soaking in the wonder and beauty of nature, can indeed have a positive effect upon the mind. If we filled our lives with more beauty rather than the absolute crap we normally force feed ourselves I think the world would be much better off for it…

    Sorry I really have no advice to offer you. This was well done as is.
    | Posted on 2011-05-17 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
      invited into the landscape to become one with it....

    nature as our significant other...

    this is beauteous!

    and that is all i have to say about that...(gump)
    | Posted on 2011-05-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190902

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Are not cheap (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry