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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sugar'n Spicedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: awaywithwords
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 8/11/4
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1050



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSugar'n Spicedots
    -------------------------------------------


    uninspired by runway girls
    with sourdough lips
    whose bones can be counted
    like lines on my forehead

    a butterfly stirs
    delicious conundrum
    with starling green eyes
    and strawberry curls

    she waltzes at midday
    and wanders in moonlight
    savors silk stardust
    and hot apple pie

    it's hard to see clearly
    through simmering draperies
    where butterscotch sighs
    cloud your view

    only fog in my eye
    is a pal never aging
    with snow-capped brow and
    sweet brownie smile

    unlike cloistered beloved
    brother dejected
    surviving purely on metal
    and RX AD

    now my scale says to cut
    all caloric contusion
    but i'm a bittersweet mess
    with nothing to knead

    life's a fat old book
    of unwanted pages
    can't lose the weight of it
    or strengthen the spine

    5/17/11 Victoria




    Submitted on 2011-05-17 20:15:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I am truly sorry that my head wasn't in the place to comment on this piece when you first arrived... and I hope you do come back soon to E.S. and post more. I am ready to comment now, because my brain caught up today and your poem was what I thought of first, when the mental train arrived and brought it back to me.

    Runway girls... they're all too thin, and not especially "pretty"... altho, someone back behind the curtains always pumps them up to think they are.

    I used to stare hopelessly at those magazine [censored]es, and basically, cry. Tried using the "darker dots of foundation" on each side of the nose, to reduce the width, all those "tricks of the trade" that look fine with a bright camera light and some air-brushing, but make you look like a giraffe in public.

    And I've seen the "gorgeous" guys with those pepper-flaked play-dough faced (dare I say?) BITCHES who are sub-standard to what they're dating, except for the size 0 waist and plastic 32DDD tits... uh HUH. Wondered, wtf is going on here? And seen the women who look like a train hit them walking out with guys who look decent enough, and wondered What Am I Missing Here?

    And it dawned on me, after a few hundred conversations, that men are always looking at the magazines, but they pick out a couple of features and take the mess of the rest just along for the ride. And what makes these women stand out?

    Confidence. Self-confidence. Let's take Angelica Houston, for instance. Really, she has nothing going for her except the thin body. Her eyes are too sharp and black, her nose is angular. But she DOMINATES a room, because Angelica walks around like a 10, strutting her stuff, whether she is a typical "6" or what.

    And that is all that really makes the difference. Confidence. Men love that. I guess it gives them something to tear down in a relationship. After all, it's a crime to undo pretty... You are always faulted for taking a pretty face and ruining it, but a woman's confidence? LOL, oh yeah. That's gotta go in lieu of "Compromise".

    This is probably a really [censored]ty comment, now that I'm thinking about it. But it's basically what I think, so whether its a bad impression or not, that's the comment.

    I like pie. I like eating all I want at a restaurant. I like that I'm NOT size 0, because they end up being fragile little birds with bad backs and sharp bones.

    Be Yourself, and anyone who can't see THAT is truly beautiful, deserves to [censored] a skeleton and taste cosmetics everytime they brush their dumb lips over the perfect face that has to re-adjust itself to keep from smearing off the canvas.
    | Posted on 2011-05-22 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the way everything was related to food.
    | Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by chiatealover | [ Reply to This ]
      you know i like this piece so much...combination of seriousness, humor excellent metaphor...
    the last three stanzas are a trip...

    good stuff

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      You juxtapose and blend the metaphors so wonderfully here. The piece brings such vivid images to mind....those wafer-thin runway girls with the less glamorous side of their existence....the part we don't see as they "waltz" down the runway....sometimes "sugar 'n spice" isn't everything nice.....

    There is universality in your piece as well. our lives are not always as they appear to the casual observer

    i love the last stanza. If only we could tear out those pages which no longer strengthen us, but weaken us by bogging us down. But they become part and parcel of our lives, the bad along with the good. The reader will have to learn to skim over those parts.....lest we should rip those pages out anyway and have the book fall apart completely....

    I really love this one...terrific write!!

    Welcome to the site. I look forward to seeing more pieces from you in the future.
    | Posted on 2011-05-18 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.. I truly loved this. I like the use of metaphors and personification. They seemed to strengthen the meaning of the whole poem. It almost sent your feelings straight through to me. You had a lot of descriptive words too.

    This was amazing.
    | Posted on 2011-05-17 00:00:00 | by KatyCatastrophe | [ Reply to This ]


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    190915

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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