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Too Many Men


Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 108
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1299
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 658



Description:




Too Many Men



One man to take away the Lonely;
Another man to be The Only,
Replaced with one to fill the holes
left by all those mates of "Soul"
and then some more to even-Steven
all the hurts and lies and treason...
Start again, this time a Friend
to sink the blade and twist it in.

A new man to supply free dope;
Another man to lend false hope.
A few to party, dance and sing,
then find one with a wedding ring:
Throw it back and run away,
Hide your face against the day.
Swear there will be no more men
until the full moon shines again...




Submitted on 2011-05-18 23:11:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Personally, I think that the full moon should be used to find men who would make a home out of a closet, or a pool out of a bath tub, someone who inflates condoms and turns them to balloons, more importantly, someone who would be so excited to see a street empty of cars that he'd end up lying on the ground and falling asleep. I'm just saying...
| Posted on 2011-05-20 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
  The cynic says, I'll have no more
until another's at the door
and then skeptic's narrowed eye
props up the corpse for one more try

You're much too comfortable with your vices. :)
| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  i get this....oh these men are such "a-holes"

but i also see this as not so much gender bashing, but kind of a tongue-in-cheek way of saying..i have let myself be used and abused..it is my own fault that i have trusted these guys...not that all of them are bad..just that i drop into the wrong relationships...

there is in your face directness here but also a camouflaged humor too--
and we all know that the full moon will shine again...

i love the line

"all those mates of 'soul'"

perfect...

yes i agree with dolor..a bit droll in spots..but that really feels intended and well placed...

and i can't disagree with this..a lot of our gender are like this...yeah they are.

jacob
| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  Truly inspired writing. I have nothing in the way of criticism and I have nothing constructive to add. Sorry for leaving such a poor comment and thank you for the enjoyable read.
| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
  I had a big grin on my face reading this. The way you wrote it was interesting; it's very detached and unaffected, almost as though you don't care.

You just slapped it on a piece of paper like a drunk in a bar who smashes his glass grunting to the bartender for another. It was brilliant.

It seems like your bashing the other gender directly but really, I think your bashing more yourself indirectly. I don't know if it makes any sense or not but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Have a great day.

Cheers,
| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece was kind of off-putting but I think it's intentional, like a purposely emotionless piece. The speaker is just too tired to bring any more light to this topic because quite frankly, it's been exhausted enough. I really see that here, and I appreciate its style more than anything. It read very plainly like a chapter in a book that didn't really tell me too much information, didn't quite grip me, but I think therein lies the beauty in this pallor piece because again it defines the speaker's tone: neglectful, disconcerting, uncaring, ghostly.

I enjoyed this unique rendition of a lover's sorrow and heartache.
| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]
  Gosh girl , what a sorry lot of lousy two faced a$$holes we seem to be through these eyes . Tell me you haven't really had that bad a time with my kind . I like to think we're capable of spiritually fulfilling followthrough . That with some wantonly lustful sex on the side we're the companion made for your type . Lets party dance and sing let me give you some hope . We're not all denigrating and despicable drudges with self gratification on our minds and sadism in our hearts , or salaciously enticing provocateurs with words of sweet honey that have no roots in our souls . Although I admit I've played the plasticine porter before to get what I want , I like to think I left them with a sweet taste in their mouths and a fond memory that rings true . I don't feel like a rare breed . I wish you luck on your next moonlight escapade .

Bruce
| Posted on 2011-05-19 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


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