Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Too Late Lauren dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nicodemous
    ASL Info:    7-5-82/M/Hell
    Elite Ratio:    5.58 - 283/221/121
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 622
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 592



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToo Late Lauren dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The door is now closed
    And I'n sorry you didn’t make it through
    During that time I'd have done anything for you

    You cannot hold it against me
    Or her
    For it was only you who had to choose

    You didn't want me then
    And truly, you don't really now
    You're just mad you've lost your toy

    Loyal no longer
    Willing to stay in one place and wait
    patiently, to be fondled by enticement's promises

    That never were
    And never will





    Submitted on 2011-05-21 21:17:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      parts of this seem as straightforward as prose (which makes the effect a bit uneven at times, example - You're just mad you lost your toy).

    Sometimes the rearview is the best view.
    | Posted on 2011-05-22 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      "to be fondled by enticement's promises"

    quite a nice line, my friend.

    straight at ya poem...and very sad.
    at least for the one spoken to...the speaker seems to have moved on just fine.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191017

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Incubus written by monad
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    This written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry