Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vanity and all of her Spicesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BusterLILblock
    ASL Info:    21/F
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 452/270/50
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 645
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 514



    Description:
       hopefully self explanatory!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVanity and all of her Spicesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I don't plan on being here
    for too long

    The only time I try
    The only wish I'd cry.

    Reach
    Just feel my sanity
    to touch my vanity.

    Oh the irony!
    Oh the pain!
    Oh my own name!

    The only game I play,
    it takes me far away
    From there
    and from where.

    The price I'll pay
    to play.

    My oh my
    My only PIE


    Never to be mine




    Submitted on 2011-05-30 15:12:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed the unorthodox flow of this piece. It shows a certain level of sanity, but also a smidgen of crazed lostness. The vast range of your talents can be explored in your work, and I greatly enjoyed this read.




    Sage
    | Posted on 2012-01-08 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem defies so many rules of poetry, yet breathes the very soul of it: a captured moment, a feeling.
    The way I see it is something I often feel too. Sometimes attracted or otherwise caught up in some task of the world, reminding myself that this world is not my home. Yet the whole affair is still somewhat painful. And such nonsense comes to mind as bubbles and pies...or perhaps the end indicates the triviality of the issue.

    All in all I liked it, although like I said it's a different kind of write. Sorry it took so long to comment, my internet connection is real bad!
    | Posted on 2011-07-21 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know. The rhyming pattern is a bit dense. Maybe you should loosen it a bit. You could make a really good poem out of this if you edit it properly...
    | Posted on 2011-07-03 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      aww yes the mock of the mock. kid u can make me laugh & cry wid this 1.
    | Posted on 2011-06-03 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! you can share mine :)

    About the poem , i might say just remember you have something, nobody else has and that matters a lot.
    | Posted on 2011-06-02 00:00:00 | by Kaddish | [ Reply to This ]
      rather playful words just theatric im astonished. what have you done, your name! but in the end the pie is what I want. all this in the batman announcer voice.
    | Posted on 2011-05-31 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191134

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Incubus written by monad
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Giving written by jjd
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Linger written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Push written by JanePlane
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry