Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vanity and all of her Spicesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BusterLILblock
    ASL Info:    21/F
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 452/270/50
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 595
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 514



    Description:
       hopefully self explanatory!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVanity and all of her Spicesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I don't plan on being here
    for too long

    The only time I try
    The only wish I'd cry.

    Reach
    Just feel my sanity
    to touch my vanity.

    Oh the irony!
    Oh the pain!
    Oh my own name!

    The only game I play,
    it takes me far away
    From there
    and from where.

    The price I'll pay
    to play.

    My oh my
    My only PIE


    Never to be mine




    Submitted on 2011-05-30 15:12:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed the unorthodox flow of this piece. It shows a certain level of sanity, but also a smidgen of crazed lostness. The vast range of your talents can be explored in your work, and I greatly enjoyed this read.




    Sage
    | Posted on 2012-01-08 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem defies so many rules of poetry, yet breathes the very soul of it: a captured moment, a feeling.
    The way I see it is something I often feel too. Sometimes attracted or otherwise caught up in some task of the world, reminding myself that this world is not my home. Yet the whole affair is still somewhat painful. And such nonsense comes to mind as bubbles and pies...or perhaps the end indicates the triviality of the issue.

    All in all I liked it, although like I said it's a different kind of write. Sorry it took so long to comment, my internet connection is real bad!
    | Posted on 2011-07-21 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know. The rhyming pattern is a bit dense. Maybe you should loosen it a bit. You could make a really good poem out of this if you edit it properly...
    | Posted on 2011-07-03 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      aww yes the mock of the mock. kid u can make me laugh & cry wid this 1.
    | Posted on 2011-06-03 00:00:00 | by geekyslacker | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! you can share mine :)

    About the poem , i might say just remember you have something, nobody else has and that matters a lot.
    | Posted on 2011-06-02 00:00:00 | by Kaddish | [ Reply to This ]
      rather playful words just theatric im astonished. what have you done, your name! but in the end the pie is what I want. all this in the batman announcer voice.
    | Posted on 2011-05-31 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191134

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Every..... written by jackz
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry