Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Grinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 623
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1397



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGrinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A couple of petty feelings scraping at the pit of my stomache

    waking up in the morning to inhale the smoke of another hot tired frizzled tight tight tightly wound
    day

    stiff sharp pain underneath shoulderblades
    dread
    all consuming overwhelming, regret
    mistake

    can't control the traffic,
    the time
    a phone call you could have made

    I felt like it was important, felt like
    but then selfishly took the pity of one who has went all day without food or water or consideration

    what is it like to exist inside your sour stoned mind

    Do you love me?
    Of course
    Very much?
    Yes I do.
    I love you very much.
    A spot in the sky is larger than the whole world, this city this galaxy this place.
    Your point?
    It amazes me.
    And what made you think of that?
    It's just amazing.

    Oh you are stoned so you forgot, I don't want to be irritated by this honey but I am
    and I can't watch a movie with you tonight because we got home too late and I need a shower and what's your priority???

    Ah
    relax
    by the end of the day even if you don't hear what you want to hear it will be okay
    very good and good and okay

    I love you.




    Submitted on 2011-05-31 13:08:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds like a heart attack coming on or a need for a big dose of MAALOX. LOL
    We all have days where things go wrong, that could have been made better, just with a few kind words from a friend or loved one.
    | Posted on 2011-06-09 00:00:00 | by DUSTYTU | [ Reply to This ]
      Food for thought here....hmmm... could be read in so many different ways: as hopeful, but slightly confused, or sad and depressed, or full of longing and uncertain about the future of true love here... or half hopeful and half despairing.... or just fed up and scarcastic... as I say, food for thought... nice work!!!
    | Posted on 2011-06-02 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      I've read it. But I think I need to read it a couple of more times. First thought - relationships. Confusion. Clarity. Thinking about being in love so badly that the character feels like she is in love. Yet the daily activities are a chore. It's like the relationship has fallen into the part in the character's mind where the daily chores are kept - something you just need to do for the sake of doing it and getting out of the way but not necessarily getting any sort of pleasure out of it. I don't think it's a reflection of you or your life. Just saying what I thought. Nice.
    | Posted on 2011-06-01 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191142

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The World written by jjd
    Love written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Cover written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry