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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Conspiracy?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nicodemous
    ASL Info:    7-5-82/M/Hell
    Elite Ratio:    5.58 - 283/221/121
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 623



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConspiracy?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    A dark cloud rushes up from nowhere
    To envelop me and make me lose sight
    Of those thing precious
    Of those blessed givings

    Shamefully I wallow in pity and doubt
    More shameful still I try to deny my plight
    "All is fine, all is well" or so says the smile
    The mask for discontent and malice

    Inward going turning others out
    Roaming freely the empty space
    No consolation
    Nothing to lash out upon

    No injustice to decry
    No conspiracies to be brought to light
    Simply cold life and hard truth




    Submitted on 2011-06-02 15:27:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      "I'm to blame for all my wrongs
    But you're the wrong that gave me reason
    Through tragedy comes clarity
    Wage war on me"
    | Posted on 2011-06-03 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the conspiracy idea..and would really loved to have seen this take that metaphor and run with it..from the poem's outset...

    i think lots could be done with it...i know there is feeling in this poem..but i don't necessarily feel the transference of it to the reader...there are many common phrases in this..been used before, seen before..but a consipracy thread could really cause some innovative lines to crop up...

    just thoughts

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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