The next to last stanza feels pretty rough the way I read it. Consider, through line-breaking, adding emphasis on impactful words to strengthen the meaning of words. Here's what I would suggest:
you could see
through these eyes
Maybe you'd then believe
in what I've been
trying to say
Can you see the visual effect of this? The rise and fall of the line? Depending on what effect you're looking for, there may be something else you're needing, but this seemed very effective to me after I read it.
The total effect of this poem in my opinion could probably be nitpicked line by line. Your line-breaking is unusual and doesn't give me much eye candy, so points on style goes down. Here's the double-standard about writing to me: you can write the most amazing thing in the world, but if it's not formatted correctly, the meaning can be lost, lose its purpose and edge, and leave the audience hanging. So, for future reference, combining all those skills together can make a more splendid piece.