[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: twice is nicedots

    Author: Joybell
    ASL Info:    22/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 101/94/56
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 564
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1273


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstwice is nicedots

    I shouldnt do this, I know.
    I shouldnt talk to you anymore, I should just ignore the feelings that I am letting come knocking at my hearts door.

    Its not like we havent been here,
    What are we doing, what will we be? If anything?
    She is pretty and tall and skinny and smart and talented and dark. She lives in Florida too. Who knew? Stay with her, better off if you do.

    This is just me, sure I have a piece of your heart and your innocence and virginity, but this is just me, we were just babies.
    That prolly just means something to me.
    I am everything you want, but not what you want your friends to think that you want. Did you get that? I'm stumped!

    I should steer clear, not even get near.
    I don't want to be the one who is on the recieving end of having to hear - we are just friends-

    Shouldnt even let this begin, so why this silly grin? Yet I remember, whoever cares the least is in control of the relationship, ...did I just say relationship? Yes, I guess that was a -slip-
    I'm not who you remember from those past septembers, I won't let my heart bleed this time. You will not be my newest crime.

    Submitted on 2011-06-05 01:03:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ha! I've been there, though on the other side. :)Sometimes things get awkward. The most important thing is to remember to have fun.

    Good writing!
    | Posted on 2011-07-03 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Not sure why you chose to go the rhyming route. Doesn't really take away from it . . . couple of parts are iffy, feels forced instead of natural . . . maybe you wanted it to feel that way. It was enjoyable. A look at growing as a person and in the process growing out of a relationship. Good stuff.
    | Posted on 2011-06-06 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Cover written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    prison written by ShyOne
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]