Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Impossiblesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 343



    Description:
       Hope this works. The words are mine.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImpossiblesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There may come a time in the moments of our lives
    when the impossibles of now are overshadowed by time.
    And when that frame of mind begins to chip away at your sanity,
    Remember that impossibles can pass, and oh the Hugh Manatee




    Submitted on 2011-06-05 01:37:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like what this says...yes indeed..

    i would switch the "you" in the third line to "our"

    keep it in first to match the opener...the shifting of person can be detract from the reading...and these are four lines we want to give full focus to since the poem is so short.

    even manatees can slip through tight spots/ moments..and we all have many of those in our lives...the trick is to survive them, get through them and move on.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and sweet, and was really funny on the end. Puns are really entertaining and I hadn't even been on that wavelength, so I found it really fresh and original. I think the comedy highlights a truth though, that facing what may be our hardest days will soon be a fleeting memory but we'll never forget that those days are what made us stronger, because we'll still be here in the end.
    | Posted on 2011-06-05 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191192

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry