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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Impossiblesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 739
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 343



    Description:
       Hope this works. The words are mine.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImpossiblesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There may come a time in the moments of our lives
    when the impossibles of now are overshadowed by time.
    And when that frame of mind begins to chip away at your sanity,
    Remember that impossibles can pass, and oh the Hugh Manatee




    Submitted on 2011-06-05 01:37:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      i like what this says...yes indeed..

    i would switch the "you" in the third line to "our"

    keep it in first to match the opener...the shifting of person can be detract from the reading...and these are four lines we want to give full focus to since the poem is so short.

    even manatees can slip through tight spots/ moments..and we all have many of those in our lives...the trick is to survive them, get through them and move on.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and sweet, and was really funny on the end. Puns are really entertaining and I hadn't even been on that wavelength, so I found it really fresh and original. I think the comedy highlights a truth though, that facing what may be our hardest days will soon be a fleeting memory but we'll never forget that those days are what made us stronger, because we'll still be here in the end.
    | Posted on 2011-06-05 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]


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