Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Di Sectiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 464
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1041



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDi Sectiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    please someone erase this,
    or give me some warmth to get me through

    my days are kind and through them I have found security
    in love
    faith
    myself
    home

    yet I sit here
    as the morning yawns and turns her head to dream in her own night

    the day wakes
    whispers

    gives such a cross feeling
    what do I have to be so lonely about

    It must be self deception
    childish attention seeking
    and egotistical tantrum
    boiling to the surface

    can I ask you Father God?
    What do I do about this?

    Should I sing a song
    dwell on lovlier things
    will the lie and deception in my own heart
    break the power of that truth?

    the difference between what I know and what I feel
    and how to break the barriers of my heart
    of my soul

    just a girl sitting down
    not getting her way

    or knowing what her way is




    Submitted on 2011-06-09 10:44:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can, in ways, relate to this piece and in ways I can see where Love, Peace, Joy, Abundance, Beauty & Prosperous Healthy Smiles to Share ;-) ;-) ;-) pulled me through the Black Hole Abyss and showed me the FLIP side of IT ~*~
    :-)
    | Posted on 2011-06-10 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool piece. I like how it kind of went back and forth between a place of feeling lost and finding yourself - in the first four sections. I liked how you presented the doubts in the next four - almost in a way as if the character is not sure wether they are actually her doubts. Then you make it clear on what path needs to be taken - by balancing what you know and feel and listening to your heart and soul :)

    Then there is confusion again at the end - maybe cause the realization seems too much to handle because it is so simple. It was cool dude.
    | Posted on 2011-06-10 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      RIGHT, when you find your way, be sure to tell your friends, many are just as lost in this life and can use a little map reading course for their travels.
    this was a true observation at life, we were not born with a road map or a book of instructions.
    cute write
    | Posted on 2011-06-09 00:00:00 | by DUSTYTU | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191248

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Summer written by layDsayD
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry