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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Suicide Note - Goodbye dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AshleyDYoung
    ASL Info:    19/F/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 28/33/34
    Words: 302
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 487
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1581



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSuicide Note - Goodbye dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In twenty years I’ve tried to do many things, few I’ve accomplished and many I’ve failed. I’ve accomplished loving those in my life to a far greater that I can ever say I’ve loved myself. When I look in the mirror I do with utter distain. I’ve learned that hating yourself is not a way to live, that when you hate yourself you’re hard to love; but then again how can someone love you if you don’t even like yourself? It’s gotten to the point in life where I’m standing still and unable to breathe. Do you remember those dreams where a person wants something/someone so bad that they can hardly stand it but yet every time they move closer it drifts further away? We all have them, and if say that you don‘t your lying. That’s how I’ve felt for the past few years, just out of reach of what I truly desire. I’ve made the decision that not today but one day soon I will be gone and only exist in the thoughts of those who once tried to love this shell. I can’t say they were wrong for yelling at me to move when I’m standing still, but honestly I don’t know how. The world is predigest against me for the fatty tissue that clings to my bones, and refuses to let me have a chance to breathe. When once cannot breathe they suffocate and I have. I may not have pulled the trigger yet but I’m gone, it’s like I’m on auto pilot breathing and ‘living’ only for those I love. My dreams are dead and my heart aches. I’m not writing this to any specific person, in fact no one will ever see this that knew who I was, even after it’s too late




    Submitted on 2011-06-09 18:55:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      In twenty years, I've tried to do many things; (a) few I've accomplished and many I haven't. I've accomplished loving those in my life to a far greater (degree than) I can ever say I've loved myself.

    When I look in the mirror, I do (it) with utter (disdain). I've learned that hating yourself is not a way to live (and) that, when you hate yourself, you're hard to love. (Then) again, how can someone love you if you don't even like yourself?

    It's gotten to the point in life where I'm standing still and unable to breathe. Do you remember those dreams where a person wants something/someone so bad that they can hardly stand it but every time they move closer (to the dream) it drifts further away? We all have (these feelings), and if say that you don't, (then you're) lying.

    That's how I've felt for the past few years; just out of reach of what I truly desire. I've made the decision that, one day soon, I will be gone and only exist in the thoughts of those who once tried to love this shell.

    I can't say they were wrong for yelling at me to move when I'm standing still, but honestly I don't know how. The world is (prejudiced) against me for the fatty tissue that clings to my bones, and refuses to let me have a chance to breathe. When one cannot breathe, (one suffocates), and I have.

    I may not have pulled the trigger yet, but I'm gone. It's like I'm on auto pilot, breathing and living only for those I love. My dreams are dead and my heart aches. I'm not writing this to any specific person, in fact, no one who knew who I was will ever see this, even after it's too late.


    As depressing and hopeless as this post is, I thought it might be a good idea to make this pessimistically dark matter more readable. Frankly, I think writing these unhappy thoughts out is one way to purge the system of negativity and find common ground with other writers who'v experienced some of the same problems. If this is an experiment in persona and characterization, then disregard my comments. If it's real, then stick around for a bit longer. Things will get better.

    Bill
    | Posted on 2011-06-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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