Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A *girls* summer walk dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joybell
    ASL Info:    22/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 101/94/56
    Words: 326
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 522
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1885



    Description:
       This is in response to
    Solomon Disease - Summer walk
    It's a Tongue in cheek sloppy write :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA *girls* summer walk dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walking downtown with friends
    its a hot day
    we are all trying to strut our stuff and keep dry
    Watching the boys, watching us, trying to hide their lust, loving the rush.

    Suddenly, I see him, wait, is he looking back at me!?
    Dont giggle
    I take a breath and stick out my chest and hold my head higher as we walk closer to each other
    I want to look away and cant, his eyes seem to be laughing at me , is he saying hi!?

    Exchange a pleasant greeting, his eyes are eating me.
    Warm
    Mesmerizing
    Deep
    I remind myself to breath; I think I motioned for my girlfriends to leave

    I know he must see how his nearness is affecting me,
    Wishing I could pull out my heart to stop the pounding that I’m sure is giving me away

    Is it getting even warmer out here?
    We keep talking and I try to make full sentences, he smiles and I think I stop breathing.
    Trying not to look at his arms glistening in the sun; did he just catch me?! Now I want to run…


    Where are my friends? They have all walked on.
    How long have we stood here?
    Hours?
    Minutes?
    Maybe days?

    He asks such good questions, and listens to the answer.
    I find I actually want to hear what he has to say about…well everything.
    Not to be pathetic, but I’m imagining him holding me- snap back to present

    He moves in to say goodbye, I hope I smell ok!
    Did he just brush my lower back? I feel the shivers down my legs
    Wishes he wouldn’t pull away.

    We exchange numbers, meeting tomorrow for tea
    Wait until he turns the corner and I have wings on my feet as I run to tell my girlfriends in a rush, the magic of his touch…tomorrow get here soon!





    Submitted on 2011-06-10 16:50:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very cool! Nicely done! I love the energy in yours. I like how at first you're trying to seduce the guy with your looks - "I take a breath and stick out my chest and hold my head higher" and then you just let it happen. It goes from trying to control to completely letting go of control - which shows control, hehe. Very enjoyable :)
    | Posted on 2011-06-11 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      lol! How us guys love to watch you lovely ladies! You have such beautifully rounded parts, graceful movements, and things that make us guys go ga, ga....

    sugar and spice and everything nice...

    here's to nice..!

    Thanks for sharing this!
    | Posted on 2011-06-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191267

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Linger written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Giving written by jjd
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry