I turn to see you standing in a pose
that whispers of forgotten youth
stuck between fickle teeth
of characters lost and fumbling
in a game of incomplete riddles
trapped in the gears of reality
of you and me.
My laughter is drowned and bloating
in piles of spent smiles worn thin
by winters passed facing empty reflections
in windows with stars hiding your name.
My head is a ballroom
skeleton thoughts frequent no more.
There used to be a young believer
in fairy-tale complexions
underlying all things real.
Knitted veils hang freely
over all that once stood decided,
yet we speak of sin no more,
We are ghosts now, spread thinly
over chasms that once housed yesterdays
i like this...but i wanted to see something more with the teeth...and the skeleton...i like the metaphors...and images...very much
but it felt like a thread was missing..something that would tie all three stanzas together...felt like separate parts...although lots of the wording/phrasing is beautiful..and i didn't see the original title..but what a suggestion for the one you ended up with..very enticing title..
ghosts, fairy tale complexions sort of remind me of something white , something bleached...but i wished for a stronger connection...
i do see a relationship that just didn't quite get there...we are ghosts, reminders of what could have been...
so much to like...just felt a bit scattered to me...
Gosh dude . You seem to be describing the reflections of a man who is old and decrepit well beyond your years . Your youthful exuberance waning , your childhood innocence gone , your relationship tired and worn thin . Imagination never grows old . It is by definition new , and it's immaturitys always breed new thoughts and ideas . I'm 58 yrs old and still revere the fantasies of the unicorn . I like to think I'm still young at heart , capable of intense passions . Granted I'm balding and going grey but there's still the promise of a new spring season , the revelries of summer , the contemplations of fall . Life is good ! I don't know , maybe I'm babbling here and your just describing a relationship that for some reason has withered with the passage of time . I have experienced this before , but you can't let it cause you to forget to smell the roses . I assure you they are still shooting up anew in the morning sun .