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    dots Submission Name: -she *is* incandescence-dots

    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 277
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1898

       some things you love too much.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots-she *is* incandescence-dots

    i lay still in my bed
    while she could be
    -dying or dead-

    with all her pills, all her poisons
    all her mixtures, elixirs and. . .
    -legal prescriptions

    her heart could be slowing down
    her eyes could be dimming, now
    she's talking curtain call
    but no curtsy will help at all
    but she wants out
    but she wants out
    she's in so much...

    pain will overtake her
    pain will decimate her
    perhaps my words can save her
    that she might remember/recall
    when they will matter most of all

    in canon with all her pills
    -her poisons, her poisons
    she seeks to know death
    she finds a sick sort of logic in it
    that she has cross-referenced
    and measured against her life

    and she knows
    {she knows}
    all about the aftermath
    of the final alternative path
    and she has attuned her wrath
    her world is not as she pictured

    so. . .

    she chooses not even to think
    she chooses not even to bleed
    she chooses not even to breathe

    she seeks to know death
    to place upon it the pressure
    of her obsessions, her perception
    of herself as merely a warped reflection
    she sees her being as destined for brevity
    but the only place she is weighing heavily
    -is on my mind-

    yet still i lay still in my bed
    powerless to rescue my dearest friend
    while she could be
    dying or dead

    so perhaps my words will save her
    if words
    being only words
    can save anyone

    Submitted on 2011-06-15 22:36:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Reading that gave me goosebumps. Wow. O.O The end was very powerful... the poem as a whole is highly effective. I feel your words, I don't just read them. Your rhymes are clever and make the entire piece flow beautifully. I have no complaints here, this is a finished work and does not need to be tampered with.
    | Posted on 2011-08-17 00:00:00 | by Poehemian | [ Reply to This ]
      "if words
    being only words
    can save anyone"

    Words are the most powerful thing in the world. It even says so in the bible. :) Supposedly god created the world by using words. It is more and more true in this technological word where everything is online and trillions upon trillions of words flow through the wires every day. Anyway, I've enjoyed reading this!

    | Posted on 2011-07-08 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      "i lay still in my bed" as if i am dying with her or holding my breath that she be okay...

    this is a powerfully sad write...but with a touch of hope...

    | Posted on 2011-06-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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