Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forget or Forbiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snacky fish
    ASL Info:    31/male/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377/472/111
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 674



    Description:
       Drop, wobble, warp, thump... dirty!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForget or Forbiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like sweet hell fire
    My heart burns
    Never to end
    Till nigh gods' will turns

    Forget or forbid
    These beats lasting so
    Dropping and warping
    Wobbling to and fro

    Like dirt and filth
    Calling death to stay
    Foolish in rebirth
    Reaper cross to flay?

    Forget or forbid
    His name be spoke
    The spook of lore
    Six orbits endmost awoke

    Like death itself
    My heart never ends
    Quiet and still
    Till Nigh lips mend

    Forget or Forbid
    A ghostly return
    A rose in grasp
    Beckoning seraphim to burn




    Submitted on 2011-06-15 23:32:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Six orbits endmost awoke"

    I like this line. The rest of the poem feels a bit repetitive...
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191347

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Genesis written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Stretto written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    ME written by jjd
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry