Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forget or Forbiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snacky fish
    ASL Info:    31/male/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377/472/111
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 768
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 674



    Description:
       Drop, wobble, warp, thump... dirty!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForget or Forbiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like sweet hell fire
    My heart burns
    Never to end
    Till nigh gods' will turns

    Forget or forbid
    These beats lasting so
    Dropping and warping
    Wobbling to and fro

    Like dirt and filth
    Calling death to stay
    Foolish in rebirth
    Reaper cross to flay?

    Forget or forbid
    His name be spoke
    The spook of lore
    Six orbits endmost awoke

    Like death itself
    My heart never ends
    Quiet and still
    Till Nigh lips mend

    Forget or Forbid
    A ghostly return
    A rose in grasp
    Beckoning seraphim to burn




    Submitted on 2011-06-15 23:32:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Six orbits endmost awoke"

    I like this line. The rest of the poem feels a bit repetitive...
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191347

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Yes written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Love written by saartha
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Cover written by saartha
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry