Forget or Forbid by snacky fish

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Forget or Forbid dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	snacky fish
ASL Info:	31/male/FL
Elite Ratio:	3.76 - 377/472/111
Words:	92

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	1493
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	674

Description:
Drop, wobble, warp, thump... dirty!

Forget or Forbid dots

-------------------------------------------

Like sweet hell fire
My heart burns
Never to end
Till nigh gods' will turns

Forget or forbid
These beats lasting so
Dropping and warping
Wobbling to and fro

Like dirt and filth
Calling death to stay
Foolish in rebirth
Reaper cross to flay?

Forget or forbid
His name be spoke
The spook of lore
Six orbits endmost awoke

Like death itself
My heart never ends
Quiet and still
Till Nigh lips mend

Forget or Forbid
A ghostly return
A rose in grasp
Beckoning seraphim to burn

Submitted on 2011-06-15 23:32:09 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
"Six orbits endmost awoke"

I like this line. The rest of the poem feels a bit repetitive...
| Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

191347

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.