Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forget or Forbiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: snacky fish
    ASL Info:    31/male/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 377/472/111
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 909
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 674



    Description:
       Drop, wobble, warp, thump... dirty!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForget or Forbiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like sweet hell fire
    My heart burns
    Never to end
    Till nigh gods' will turns

    Forget or forbid
    These beats lasting so
    Dropping and warping
    Wobbling to and fro

    Like dirt and filth
    Calling death to stay
    Foolish in rebirth
    Reaper cross to flay?

    Forget or forbid
    His name be spoke
    The spook of lore
    Six orbits endmost awoke

    Like death itself
    My heart never ends
    Quiet and still
    Till Nigh lips mend

    Forget or Forbid
    A ghostly return
    A rose in grasp
    Beckoning seraphim to burn




    Submitted on 2011-06-15 23:32:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Six orbits endmost awoke"

    I like this line. The rest of the poem feels a bit repetitive...
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191347

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    A Drink written by jjd
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Giving written by jjd
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Linger written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry