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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fingersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 677



    Description:
       I was thinking vaguely of Robert Frosts Fire and Ice, as far as narrative goes.
    But meh. Which one are you?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFingersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Am I the thumb, built merely to oppose?
    One sacrifice, alone, so to grip and expose?
    Or am I the index, to hold ourselves accountable,
    Keep the focus and hold myself responsible?
    Should I be the middle, the longest and loudest?
    As a reminder that insults stem from cowardice?
    What of the ring and the bonding entailed,
    Of holy matrimony and faithfulness revealed?
    Or the littlest of all, on which every promise falls?
    For there is little that trust will not do for us all.

    I fear for myself, as the thumb by his lonesome.
    'Cause I can touch on all five and still find myself broken.




    Submitted on 2011-06-16 06:08:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this. A very original way of thinking. I am definitely the middle finger. Hah! :)
    | Posted on 2011-07-08 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess that everyone of us has undergone faithfulness issues in our relationships, one way or another. As well as "the insults (that) stem from cowardice"

    I was particularly fond of this line "Should I be the middle, the longest and loudest?" in fact I believe is the highlight of your piece.

    In a similar vein, your poem faintly brings to mind this Eminen song called " Love The Way You Lie"

    As to critiques, I can say that I was not very comfortable with all the questions you displayed here they sort of undermine the flow of the piece.

    That's all.

    Warm regards,

    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      "talk to the hand" the hand is me...i am made up of five fingers, five personalities, five selves...which one should i be today.
    very clever piece.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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