[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: if/when i lose herdots

    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 1178
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1650

       strange how trauma-in-progress can wrench this stuff right out of...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsif/when i lose herdots

    now, if/when i lose her
    the effect will be obscene
    one light shatter, breaking
    ::broken, only, only
    so many pieces left for me

    too many to count, too many
    fragments of her in my mind
    so fragile and so lovely
    and such a constant despite
    falter, falter, stop
    these quiet tears
    {this silent prose}
    i can make her falter
    and this i think she knows

    now, if/when i lose her
    the effect will be extreme
    simply put
    i've spent my life
    avoiding themes like these

    {but words are all that matter
    words are every part
    and words are my only weapon
    if i am to touch her heart}

    i shall hold fast to her
    help her undecide
    because she's dead set
    she's dead set
    but she's not dead yet

    so indeed, confide in me
    her mind might as well be
    hell, hell
    it is, and it is
    personalized just for her
    but it won't last, no
    not so long
    not as long as you think

    in her i have found kismet
    i have found a kindred spirit
    she is like me yet unlike me
    but she likes ME
    and that makes her so...

    now, if/when i lose her
    and it's looking fairly certain
    i will lose more than i have ever lost
    and i'm not prepared
    and i'm not prepared
    and i'm not prepared
    NEVER, don't
    love, don't

    Submitted on 2011-06-16 09:44:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this made me tear up. It's rare for me to cry while I'm reading a poem. It's safe to say you're a pro at appealing to people's emotions.

    "i shall hold fast to her
    help her undecide
    because she's dead set
    she's dead set
    but she's not dead yet"

    Wow, Ami. Simply Amazing! And I'm not just saying that. :)
    | Posted on 2011-08-17 00:00:00 | by Poehemian | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]