Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Romanced me one last timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 495
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 723



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Romanced me one last timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    talking about slow dancing
    your best girl
    God I remember
    like I never want to remember

    the smell of the love
    the taste of a deep and sick pain for you

    I almost want to linger here
    and sway to the pain
    and the taste of your hate

    I almost don't want to get back up when this brings me to my knees
    Almost don't want to move on when I watch you walk away

    Or I can't stand to watch you walking away
    Can't stand to hear this sad song that could be about me and you

    But you insist on listening
    like it's got nothing to do with us
    insist on listening




    Submitted on 2011-06-17 13:01:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this reminds me of when i hear certain songs from the 60's and i remember my first love....and how we walked away from each other...even when there was still so much love there...realization came too late...so i try to think non-specifically when i hear those certain songs that seemed to have been recorded just for us...but alas, it is impossible...
    they always bring back certain moments...well, hell, it really is true of many songs since, and many past loves since....they bring back the feeling as clearly as if we were embracing to the song at this very moment, today...as the songs continue to play.
    | Posted on 2011-07-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Sad. You capture the emotion of thinking about a lost love very well. I liked how you used your sense of smell and taste to describe the feelings of love and hate it makes the reader taste and smell what you're describing in their own unique way. Also, the feelings of not letting go - how the feelings of love still linger yet they are not mutual. Tasty sad poem :) . . . or :(, hehe
    | Posted on 2011-06-20 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Old flame toying with your emotions?


    I can relate to the emotion in this.

    "I almost want to linger here
    and sway to the pain
    and the taste of your hate"

    Too me, hate taste like blood. Bleeding is bad. Try not to do that. Speaking literaly of coarse.
    | Posted on 2011-06-17 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191368

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bond written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry