[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You Romanced me one last timedots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 459
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 723


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Romanced me one last timedots

    talking about slow dancing
    your best girl
    God I remember
    like I never want to remember

    the smell of the love
    the taste of a deep and sick pain for you

    I almost want to linger here
    and sway to the pain
    and the taste of your hate

    I almost don't want to get back up when this brings me to my knees
    Almost don't want to move on when I watch you walk away

    Or I can't stand to watch you walking away
    Can't stand to hear this sad song that could be about me and you

    But you insist on listening
    like it's got nothing to do with us
    insist on listening

    Submitted on 2011-06-17 13:01:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this reminds me of when i hear certain songs from the 60's and i remember my first love....and how we walked away from each other...even when there was still so much love there...realization came too late...so i try to think non-specifically when i hear those certain songs that seemed to have been recorded just for us...but alas, it is impossible...
    they always bring back certain moments...well, hell, it really is true of many songs since, and many past loves since....they bring back the feeling as clearly as if we were embracing to the song at this very moment, today...as the songs continue to play.
    | Posted on 2011-07-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Sad. You capture the emotion of thinking about a lost love very well. I liked how you used your sense of smell and taste to describe the feelings of love and hate it makes the reader taste and smell what you're describing in their own unique way. Also, the feelings of not letting go - how the feelings of love still linger yet they are not mutual. Tasty sad poem :) . . . or :(, hehe
    | Posted on 2011-06-20 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Old flame toying with your emotions?

    I can relate to the emotion in this.

    "I almost want to linger here
    and sway to the pain
    and the taste of your hate"

    Too me, hate taste like blood. Bleeding is bad. Try not to do that. Speaking literaly of coarse.
    | Posted on 2011-06-17 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]