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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mixed Media Art Formed Humandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Runes
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790/815/281
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 438
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 437



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMixed Media Art Formed Humandots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm the girl behind the face, mechanically inclined--
    I raise the arms, I tilt the head,
    I paint the eyes, I stretch the smile.
    I keep the numbers straight, the thoughts all filed
    and neatly organized... I keep division 'tween
    the She and Me, but 'me' you'll never see,
    just who She thinks that I should be, is who
    struts that green catwalk mile.





    Submitted on 2011-06-19 12:36:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I never actually comment on writes that have more than one post. It's a policy that I have maintained so as to favour a fair game, to put it that way. I wish more could devote a little part of their time to comments on those who need help rather than to praise those who are more experienced.

    Be all that as it may, today I made an exception. I reckon the title appealed to me and brought to mind something a wrote called "Deceiving Golden Broadcast Stupidity" which sorts of deals with the media an its influenced on the unprivileged and uninformed.

    Yesterday, I was watching a bunch of actresses on the premier of a film I saw recently called Scream 4. And I was discombobulated at the frenzy these people generate. The paparazzi where like animals caged roaring to be fed. They were frantically shouting at these girls to change their post or to smile differently. This ladies looked like puppets being controlled and their smiles looked mechanically rehearsed for the camera. Your write in fact brings to mind that feeling and that picture of an insecure girl facing acute self-esteem issues appealingly displayed at the end.

    This also calls to mind an Evanescence song that speaks about similar matters called "Nobody's fool"

    Additionally, I very much enjoyed the rhyme scheme it gives it an ironic tone to it.

    The only critique that I cant think of has got to do with the last two line. I guess that if you could end the penultimate line where the comma stands and put "is who" in the last line, it would sound a hell of a lot better.


    That's all I have to say,
    take care.

    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2011-06-20 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      If I was you and you were me
    and we passed on another on the eternal sea
    which one (or the other) would I be
    if I were you and you were me...

    Just my babble...
    | Posted on 2011-06-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      i find this piece fascinating...because it is you...and it isn't you.

    i know at times we all project a face for the public to see, based on different situations...we will be whom they want us to be...we will put on the face, necessary to the occasion...yet knowing you...mmm....i think you tend to be more you, more often than most people i know....

    i like the attitude of this write...and of all of the recent pieces you have posted...much personality comes from your pen.

    and this has much to do with poets...we put on a universal face so others may relate to what we write...but a part of us is and always will remain hidden.
    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think I've ever read a piece from you that I didn't adore. I adore this. I love the truth of this work. So often we pretend. I too am guilty of this. I put practice to the plastered smile, the perfectly timed handshake, and the ambiguous "I'm fine, thank you". Sometimes, living in this world, I lose the sense of who I am. I forget until I read poems like this, or I sit to write. I think I enjoy being alone the most. When I'm alone I do things like lay under oak trees, or look up for hours watching the snow fall.

    Your lovely little piece has made me think.
    Splendid, really. I have nothing constructive to add; I would continue to ramble with more compliments.

    Yours Truly,
    Clover
    | Posted on 2011-06-19 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
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    9. How could it be improved?
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    191416

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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