Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mobius Tripdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1556/457/118
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 941
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1204



    Description:
       Imagine such a walk.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMobius Tripdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some day we'll take a curious trip
    to tread upon a Mobius strip
    where bottom's top and right is left
    yet walking it requires no deft

    Ironic how a great divide
    were we to split this side to side
    our roads would part not company
    but ever longer it would be

    A doubter in amongst the crowd?
    be thee too sober - not allowed
    on magic secrets thoughts do dwell
    all in the twist - I didn't tell

    Such parlor trick of math inclines
    to sometimes mess with people's minds
    unseeming knowledge dost perverse
    the flip that rules this universe

    Imagination fuels the fire
    for knowledge is our own desire
    what lies beyond we cannot see
    that which controls our destiny

    So children exercise your mind
    you never know what you might find
    that teacher simple tricks can make
    you someday soon can overtake

    The toys of yesteryear now soar
    across the atmosphere a roar
    while haunting new dimensions peek
    behind string curtains yours to seek.







    Submitted on 2011-06-20 23:15:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i love the word play in the title here, which really kinda sends it home for me y'know? also, i think this was submitted a really long time ago... wasnt it? if not, i may have imagined this piece on eliteskills during its hayday... ahh those were the days eh.

    but it would be hella cool if i imagined it in the past and now get to comment on this in the present. oh paradoxes are so silly. i did make a mobius strip once or twice in the past because of this. keep trippin mate. and dont listen to trinity finger... he's a nutter!
    | Posted on 2011-09-25 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]
      Inverted syntax overload = forced meter.
    Ye olde English = not in this lifetime.

    I couldn't get to the heart and message of this because of the aforementioned anomalies of language.

    It's 2011, not 1611.
    Be more natural and less preachy/spoonfed.
    Just sayin'.

    P.S. We obviously work on different wavelengths.
    My apologies for this bald-faced assessment.
    | Posted on 2011-09-21 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      I imagined that once, didn't come down for a week.
    So are we part of a digital universe? Is the whole meat
    puppet thing an illusion? A vibrating string? Do we exist as a strum or the interlude between? I am afraid my mind
    has entered a mental menopause and I for one exist only as a hot flash in the night.
    | Posted on 2011-08-20 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely as usual. So here's my "unspecified" commentary. I love the meter of this. The consistency is lovely, I struggle with maintaining meter on occasion because I simply want to write outside the lines. I am enthralled when I see someone do it well. It's a bit like Robert Frost meets sci-fi...an intriguing mix indeed. I've never heard a "möbius strip" mentioned in a poem, so it caught my immediate interest and made a statement.

    "Such parlor trick of math inclines
    to sometimes mess with people's minds
    unseeming knowledge dost perverse
    the flip that rules this universe"

    Upon first read I thought I did not like this stanza, but I reread it and discovered I really did. The slant of the rhyme of the first two line threw me at first, but I wouldn't change it. I love the wit of this stanza and any changes would mess with it's lovely wit.

    I also enjoyed the last two lines of the poem. I've read extensively about string theory and believe it is completely plausible. Not sure if that was the reference that you were making, but that's how I read it. The possibility of different dimensions and how to access them is intoxicating. I read somewhere that they believe our universe is shaped like a soccer ball, with panels that allow us to come in on the opposite side which we entered. They also say that there is a place in the universe where we can no longer use radio waves to create images, all that comes back is static. In any case, the universe is an interesting place. Thank you for sharing this piece which has made me think so much.

    ~Clover
    | Posted on 2011-06-23 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]
      i am quite surprised there are not more responses to this piece---
    it's quite poemy to me.

    nice meter...excellent theme...mmm

    it's quiet on ES, too quiet!
    | Posted on 2011-06-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i can imagine...side to side, and where the company would not split..but that we would all be on the same plane...

    with understanding and equations that have no remainder, but balance each other perfectly.

    if only we would exercise our minds and think outside the box, because there is such a world out there.




    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191432

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    More written by homeless
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled - 12/12/2017 written by homeless
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Untitled 2 written by homeless
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Untitled - May 14, 2017 written by homeless
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    Sadistic lust written by jjd
    Sleeping Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Two written by homeless
    coping mechanism written by cornonthekob
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Post Naturalism written by cornonthekob
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Shading written by saartha
    burning confusion written by cornonthekob
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    trish trillion written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry