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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: On Your Shouldersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 592
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 542



    Description:
       


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    dotsOn Your Shouldersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh carry me;
    your shoulders substantial in all creation
    defined by the reality of existence

    Carry me
    while I wheep in love for you
    Smile in your light
    Throwing my arms in the air

    My body is so weightless when you carry me
    My mind and my heart fly from my head and my chest

    I am high above the rising sun
    I am lifted into the Grace of Living

    Who am I to know this,
    Who am I to be loved so well







    Submitted on 2011-06-29 12:47:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was sweet and tender. A nicely put thought. It shows your thoughts and feelings about God and faith. But the reader can take it to mean something about a lover. So there is room for the reader to take it where they want which is also cool . . . so, cool beans :)
    | Posted on 2011-07-01 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm... This still needs some work. But I'm impressed by the feelings behind this. Who is this lover of yours? A material being or some kind of a god? You could play a little more with the stanzas. That's what this poem needs, it's too serious and a bit exaggerated as it is...
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]


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