[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: {felo-de-se}dots

    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1058

       it's fun, right?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    turns out she didn't falter
    ...passed out in the middle
    after taking too little

    the last 25 were all too intended
    far surpassing the recommended
    dosage increase, mood decline
    -spiraling toward-
    an utterly gutted mental confine

    hitherto abstracted from her altar
    it was an accident of composure
    no, she didn't even falter
    but almost left me without closure

    {and will this happen again?
    all contact severed and then
    a fatal call in the morning
    with or without warning}

    a flutter inside
    she could have
    but i haven't cried
    oh, what a bitter lie
    i've cried
    i've cried...

    so all i ask, all i ask of her:
    allow me to act as the saboteur
    a light in the dark to allay/defer
    and forestall the unspeakable
    to ever occur

    Submitted on 2011-06-30 00:18:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      like plath..."with something unsaid/ a phone off the hook/ a book half read."

    leaving in the middle of things...

    well written piece that really captures to me how suicide can make the ones remaining feel...they suffer the most.

    for plath, sexton, others there were so many attempts...but then the inevitable...can we stop the inevitable?

    perhaps, perhaps not.

    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree, it is fun! love the archaic subtle feel to it. the way it was written was shall we say, epic? a contemporary take on an theme from the past.

    when i first started on this site, i really didnt want to write all kinds of weird poetry about feelings or anything that remotely resembled a train wreck of words that expressed a rehashed emotion or whatever. i gravitated to the other guys, who wrote stuff that made you think, used dynamic imagery and harkened back to a better time in writing. this piece reminds me of that time, of that energy that i wanted to imbue my writing with. reminds me of an old piece of mine (http://www.eliteskills.com/z/93843) even, though i wish i wrote it like this.

    unbiased review? brilliant fu.cking job!

    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Incubus written by monad
    Giving written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    This written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]