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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: {felo-de-se}dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1058



    Description:
       it's fun, right?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots{felo-de-se}dots
    -------------------------------------------


    turns out she didn't falter
    ...passed out in the middle
    after taking too little

    the last 25 were all too intended
    far surpassing the recommended
    dosage increase, mood decline
    -spiraling toward-
    an utterly gutted mental confine

    hitherto abstracted from her altar
    it was an accident of composure
    no, she didn't even falter
    but almost left me without closure

    {and will this happen again?
    all contact severed and then
    a fatal call in the morning
    with or without warning}

    a flutter inside
    she could have
    FUCKING DIED
    but i haven't cried
    oh, what a bitter lie
    i've cried
    i've cried...

    so all i ask, all i ask of her:
    allow me to act as the saboteur
    a light in the dark to allay/defer
    and forestall the unspeakable
    to ever occur








    Submitted on 2011-06-30 00:18:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      like plath..."with something unsaid/ a phone off the hook/ a book half read."

    leaving in the middle of things...

    well written piece that really captures to me how suicide can make the ones remaining feel...they suffer the most.

    for plath, sexton, others there were so many attempts...but then the inevitable...can we stop the inevitable?

    perhaps, perhaps not.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree, it is fun! love the archaic subtle feel to it. the way it was written was shall we say, epic? a contemporary take on an theme from the past.

    when i first started on this site, i really didnt want to write all kinds of weird poetry about feelings or anything that remotely resembled a train wreck of words that expressed a rehashed emotion or whatever. i gravitated to the other guys, who wrote stuff that made you think, used dynamic imagery and harkened back to a better time in writing. this piece reminds me of that time, of that energy that i wanted to imbue my writing with. reminds me of an old piece of mine (http://www.eliteskills.com/z/93843) even, though i wish i wrote it like this.

    unbiased review? brilliant fu.cking job!

    peace
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]


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