Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: {felo-de-se}dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 579
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1058



    Description:
       it's fun, right?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots{felo-de-se}dots
    -------------------------------------------


    turns out she didn't falter
    ...passed out in the middle
    after taking too little

    the last 25 were all too intended
    far surpassing the recommended
    dosage increase, mood decline
    -spiraling toward-
    an utterly gutted mental confine

    hitherto abstracted from her altar
    it was an accident of composure
    no, she didn't even falter
    but almost left me without closure

    {and will this happen again?
    all contact severed and then
    a fatal call in the morning
    with or without warning}

    a flutter inside
    she could have
    FUCKING DIED
    but i haven't cried
    oh, what a bitter lie
    i've cried
    i've cried...

    so all i ask, all i ask of her:
    allow me to act as the saboteur
    a light in the dark to allay/defer
    and forestall the unspeakable
    to ever occur








    Submitted on 2011-06-30 00:18:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      like plath..."with something unsaid/ a phone off the hook/ a book half read."

    leaving in the middle of things...

    well written piece that really captures to me how suicide can make the ones remaining feel...they suffer the most.

    for plath, sexton, others there were so many attempts...but then the inevitable...can we stop the inevitable?

    perhaps, perhaps not.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree, it is fun! love the archaic subtle feel to it. the way it was written was shall we say, epic? a contemporary take on an theme from the past.

    when i first started on this site, i really didnt want to write all kinds of weird poetry about feelings or anything that remotely resembled a train wreck of words that expressed a rehashed emotion or whatever. i gravitated to the other guys, who wrote stuff that made you think, used dynamic imagery and harkened back to a better time in writing. this piece reminds me of that time, of that energy that i wanted to imbue my writing with. reminds me of an old piece of mine (http://www.eliteskills.com/z/93843) even, though i wish i wrote it like this.

    unbiased review? brilliant fu.cking job!

    peace
    | Posted on 2011-06-30 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191523

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    The World written by jjd
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Cover written by saartha
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Dream written by closetpoet
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry