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    dots Submission Name: Poppy flowerdots

    Author: Paradox
    ASL Info:    33/m/Earthbound
    Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 1055/434/90
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 892


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoppy flowerdots

    Her dress moved more wildly than a poppy field in the wind
    I remember waking up feeling intoxicated by the smell of her hair
    Her gentle touch on my shoulder was more than chemistry
    We almost broke through each others skin at times when we hugged

    She was a red poppy flower blown away by the wind
    Red flower! Exploding! Red flower!
    Exploding like laughter and screams of madness

    I feel like my right rib was extracted from my fatigued body
    Her white skin smelled like poppy tears and fragrant golden honey
    Some days we made love on hillsides and wide open fields
    Her screams were my life and we were two parts of the same body

    She was bright red petals screaming in the furious wind
    My own blood! Exploding! My own blood!
    Exploding like a red poppy field ravished by her storm

    Submitted on 2011-07-03 03:09:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, my friend, I see what you meant.

    Wonderfully described passion, red both the color of blood and sex. It's interesting, right?
    | Posted on 2011-08-24 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]
      hey hi this was really really cool thanx for the invite bak and for comments
    this had power lust and a beautiful image to your post
    well done some may get it and others may not
    great write

    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2011-07-07 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      A job well done! Vivid imagery, true passion and raw emotions! Splendid work!
    | Posted on 2011-07-06 00:00:00 | by peepeye | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this has style, and it is very vivid to the imagination, I'm thinking red lips white skin,

    my only gripe, if you could call it that, would be that this lady seemed very impersonable. Beautiful, striking, only I didn't feel detail of her character.

    | Posted on 2011-07-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this! It is truly the work of a romantic.

    "Her gentle touch on my shoulder was more than chemistry."

    Very cool line, "chemistry" becomes a play-on word in a sense.
    There's chemistry in the context of your biological construct, being the thing that gives you these affections.
    Then there's chemistry as in, "we have such great chemistry!" the relationship kind. And would then be saying, how "it goes past that".

    "I feel like my right rib has been extracted from my fatigued body."

    Also, very cool.
    I got "Adam and Eve" I'm pretty sure that's what you were going for. Someone who was made perfect for you, because she's made of you.
    Again, we have this "biological" theme that I'm rather fond of.
    This all ties in very nicely to the comparitive of her, essentially, having an orgasm, or just sex in general, with love being basically a happenstance of chemical reaction. Well, it supports my theory anyway.

    A very interesting, and dare I say, "professional" write.
    I would totally expand on some of those themes if I were you.
    | Posted on 2011-07-04 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      The imagery is fantastic. Feels like a video-poem in the making as well. Crisp and moving.
    | Posted on 2011-07-03 00:00:00 | by arkayye | [ Reply to This ]
      The ache left by the loss of a soulmate is like the loss of a part of the soul itself; there are rooms in the mansion of our life that are only lighted by the presence of their being, and warmed by the brilliance of their laughter....

    Life is never really the same without them...

    Nice work Adrian!
    | Posted on 2011-07-03 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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