Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Peace be with You!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joachim
    ASL Info:    75 Male RSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 361/264/178
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 541
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1013



    Description:
       I felt like this - is all. Joachim


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPeace be with You!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My Soul is troubled.
    My Mind a Maze
    My eyes Glimmer
    My tongue is weak.

    Where O Where
    Art thou Miracles
    The Wonder
    The Avatar of my Soul?

    I Crave Thee Thunder
    Whirlwinds Ripping
    Whiplashes Waves
    My Mind asunder.

    From the Volcano of my Heart
    Heavy ashes and plumes of smoke
    Spiral Down on the Pastures
    Of my Soul.

    The Heavy Marble Stone
    Eternity!
    Weighty on my Soul
    Rolled away from my Cave
    All is Quiet Now
    The Rumble
    The Shivering
    My Ilse

    Is at Peace.

    The Devil`s Triangle
    Slumber on
    Waiting waiting watching.
    Shadow Lightning lurking!

    Through my Stargate
    I flew like the North Wind
    Vanished like a Star
    Eternity is my Home.

    Peace be with You!












    Submitted on 2011-07-04 12:30:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am watching a volcano erupting and I cannot move my gaze away from it. There was a strong fire ignited at the very beginning, not a flame, but a fire. And as I kept reading, that passion transformed into tranquility. Still strong, only a change from one state to the other.

    It's like a person gets angry at something and they have that urge to rip the whole world apart. But then, something happens, control, I suppose, and that anger changes into understanding, and understanding changes into peace.

    There is strength in this. From the beginning to the very end.

    The only thing that was distracting to me was the capital letters on almost every word. I think your message will still remain strong.

    Nicely written.

    Cheers,
    | Posted on 2011-07-06 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Like the frantic moth become, and yet this moth found satisfaction and peace. There is a point at which mercy is granted. Whether it is a permanent peace or yet another cycle of flying ever higher is always the question. Leave me behind? I think not! To become the avatar... the ultimate service of servers! To rest in eternity? I think not! And trouble not.
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      nice message...even in chaos we can find peace within ourselves...although the devil is just a stone's throw away, waiting for us to fall again into turmoil and indecision...

    the whole storm idea works well...lightning lurking...sort of like today where i live...started out sunny---a feeling of complaceny and peace...distracted soon by storms...but if there is peace inside, whatever happens outside is no matter.

    did you mean "Vanished like a Star"

    a nice read....i would like to see you play a bit with the last line....maybe come up with some alternative wording for the same idea. maybe a reference back to the Volcano in some way.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191577

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry