10,000 drops of blood by snacky fish

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: 10,000 drops of blood dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	snacky fish
ASL Info:	31/male/FL
Elite Ratio:	3.76 - 377/472/111
Words:	164

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	570
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1135

Description:
If magic = crazy = beautiful, then I would be Gerard Butler as Leonidas. Take care and die safely.

10,000 drops of blood dots

-------------------------------------------

The more pain I feel
The more beautiful I become
Like forbidden magic
My skin the seal undone

A slow dying
Long suffering sage
The spell muttered
From blood penned page

In a tongue unheard
Forgotten by times tale
An ancient sooth
That removes the veil

10,000 drops of blood
From one soul lost
Remain in harvest
Endure the covenants's cost

Hold fast your banes
Let them not break
The beauty you reap
Is the pain you take

The purer the sacrifice
Of said willing soul
Yields the potency
Of incantations's goal

If weaving use a heart
From another young yet old
Lest you die in the threads
With your spirit forever sold

To end the curse lashed
Wait for the charm
Then hasten to strike her
With out doing her harm

The spell is not over until
Your heart learns to succumb
The more pain I feel
The more beautiful I become

Submitted on 2011-07-05 00:01:42 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
die safely, lolol. anyway i like this a lot, im a very visual person so when i read (not only do i have to read some things a couple times) and comprehending poetry, i visualize a story. id ramble off on what i visualized (maybe in a PM if u want to hear it lol) but this is your comment on your piece, but i dig the black magic feel and magic vocab, has a dark, personal sacrificial feel, with good flow, sometimes the work with short lines are the hardest to express in, well i liked it a lot.
well wrote man....

PS- thank you for your comment on my piece it was GOOD advice, kinda hard to find around here. look forward to reading more
| Posted on 2011-07-10 00:00:00 | by lone_one | [ Reply to This ]
Wow. This reminds me of Jesus. I really like the intensity of the piece. I am never sure what to say when I really like something.

I think it works well, has great subject and was over all good to read.
| Posted on 2011-07-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

191580

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
descent written by TheBadSadMan
Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
Brigit written by endlessgame23
Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
Fasade written by jackz
The Promise written by annie0888
102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
Linger written by saartha
The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
Break Up written by WriteSomething
Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
written by Daniel Barlow
Bond written by saartha
Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
One Day written by WriteSomething
Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
Once Again written by krs3332003
Giving written by jjd
Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
Song written by Daniel Barlow
Push written by JanePlane
4th of July written by layDsayD
written by Daniel Barlow
Wish written by Daniel Barlow
Trails written by Daniel Barlow
I will call out your name written by RisingSon

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.