Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Ugly And Yet So Beautiful Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 75/186/232
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 736
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 700



    Description:
       Not finished, input welcomed.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Ugly And Yet So Beautiful Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Being; becoming
    The duality of what it truly means to exist.

    One hand; the other
    The great absolute set in motion
    A push to the end with an unmoved mover searching for sense.
    The great catharsis that we all seek.
    A love of the beauty in beautiful; a hope to understand why to be
    and in the shadow of individuality we've always had to relearn what it takes to make the soul so perfect.

    You can feel it through closed eyes; the unreal of the mind.
    Imagined thoughts torn askew
    teetering on perfection and truth
    what we know and see; reality comes back to enchant the philosopher.
    The form of seed




    Submitted on 2011-07-05 02:03:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I do like this, I think you have a lot of soul and that comes out in your writing. I really look forward to more of your work. I am seeing glimpses and hints and artistry a lot of this hits the high note.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      some nice lines here and interesting journey into the mind...

    the end of the second stanza is a bit wordy and awkward...and opposes the rest of the poem which has a consistent flow to it...

    maybe work on that part some...smooth it out...

    engaging write, kind of different....

    philosophy in poetic form.

    really like the way the last line captures the overall meaning so well...
    "the form of seed"

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191581

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Bre-anna written by Daniel Barlow
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry