Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Ugly And Yet So Beautiful Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 700



    Description:
       Not finished, input welcomed.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Ugly And Yet So Beautiful Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Being; becoming
    The duality of what it truly means to exist.

    One hand; the other
    The great absolute set in motion
    A push to the end with an unmoved mover searching for sense.
    The great catharsis that we all seek.
    A love of the beauty in beautiful; a hope to understand why to be
    and in the shadow of individuality we've always had to relearn what it takes to make the soul so perfect.

    You can feel it through closed eyes; the unreal of the mind.
    Imagined thoughts torn askew
    teetering on perfection and truth
    what we know and see; reality comes back to enchant the philosopher.
    The form of seed




    Submitted on 2011-07-05 02:03:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I do like this, I think you have a lot of soul and that comes out in your writing. I really look forward to more of your work. I am seeing glimpses and hints and artistry a lot of this hits the high note.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2011-08-11 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      some nice lines here and interesting journey into the mind...

    the end of the second stanza is a bit wordy and awkward...and opposes the rest of the poem which has a consistent flow to it...

    maybe work on that part some...smooth it out...

    engaging write, kind of different....

    philosophy in poetic form.

    really like the way the last line captures the overall meaning so well...
    "the form of seed"

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    191581

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Carry written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry